Is it selfish to keep too small baby clothes if you're not done having your own children?

Question

Ok. i have a 2 1/2 year old boy and 9 month old girl. i'm also 25 weeks pregnant with another boy. i have kept ALL of my daughters clothes she has outgrown(preemie-6 month), and i've kept 90% of my sons clothes (preemie-24 month). The reason being that i know i'm not done having my own children, and i really dont want to part with anything until i know i am. i literally spend about 2 hours on laundry day going over every piece of my childrens clothes to be sure the stains come out. i have taken care of them so i can reuse them. however, over the course fo the last few weeks i've had several people ASK if i can give them baby clothes (which i think is rude anyway). i know a lot of them are having financial troubles right now, but so ae we. we can afford our children, including the one i'm carrying, but we DON'T have the money to go out and buy all new clothes. someone even had the nerve to ask me for my newborn boy clothes, KNOWING i'm having a boy myself. and the people that are asking i'm hestitant to loan them too, because i know that if i do, i either WON'T get them back at all, or they won't be taken care of and i'll get them back stained and completely ruined. am i selfish for saying no?

Answer 1

They are yours to do with, either to keep or to give away. You don't have to give them a reason and I do think it's rude of them to ask if they know you are pregnant. I would not feel guilty about it. If these people are that hard up they should look in second hand clothing stores.

Answer 2

How on earth is it selfish? You paid for them all in the first place, what gives other people the right to try and take those clothes from you?



I have a huge box of my 11 month olds clothes. When my niece was born in July I let my sister have a few things I picked out that my daughter never really wore, or they were just plain boring white sleep suits. I still have ALL my favourite clothes of hers under her cot in a box.

We aren't even TTC again until 2013, but i'm keeping all the clothes. I don't want them ruined, I want them for any more little girls I may have.

Answer 3

It is not selfish to keep the clothes, even if you ARE done having children. They are yours- if you want to keep them, you should. It IS selfish for anyone to ask for them, especially for the newborn baby boy clothes!



I have daughters ages 12 and 3 and sons ages 10 and 6 months. I am not having any more children, yet I am keeping a lot of their clothes. My younger ones will grow into the ones that have been outgrown by the older children, and then ones that are ougrown by all of them are just favorites. One day they will have children of their own, and I think they will appreciate having some of these to pass down (because they, too, have been well taken care of).



I have given away a good bit, but I see nothing wrong with keeping what I want to. We have one person that has children of the same genders as my two younger ones, just enough younger to pass down clothes to. She actually gets upset that I do not give her everything! She repeatedly asked for one dress that my older daughter wore home from the hospital, and my younger daughter wore as well (with the addition of a cap and booties) for her daughter, even though I repeatedly told her no, that I intended to pass it down to my daughters' daughters. I have it displayed in a shadow box with pictures of them wearing it, so it is pretty obvious it is sentimental but she kept persisting. It annoys me, and actually has made me not want to give her ANYTHING.

Answer 4

Definatly not selfish. I get where your coming from!

It costs a lot to buy baby clothes, and if your not done with them for good then why would you part with them??

One of my sister in laws gave out her kids old clothes then demand them back because she had another kid, she did this when the person she gave the clothes to was still using and needed those clothes. They had to buy all new anyways, an had to do it immediantly.

Plus it's so true that the clothes won't be well taken care of. That same sister in law offered to Lend those clothes to me but they were all stained, worn, some even brown! No thanks

Answer 5

I kept every single article of clothing my daughter has ever owned. I will pass it on to another daughter, if I ever have another one. I am pregnant now, and if I have a girl I don't need to buy almost anything because I have plenty of clothes from my first. I don't think it's selfish, it's money saving. I'd never buy an entire new wardrobe for every single baby I get. Babies go through so much clothes it's incredible.

Answer 6

Noooo it's not selfish!! How horrible of you to think yourself as selfish when actually you are the total opposite. You're saving yourself a ton of money by handing down your older children's clothes to your new one. I'm pregnant and will do the same thing, and I know everyone around is having financial troubles, EVERYONE, but with things like these your children come before other people's children. For me, I can see myself giving my sister clothes and we would swap if we got pregnant again and what not, or my best friend she gave me her son's clothes, and if she has another son I'll give them back in the best condition possible.



I'm sure you are able to gauge who the people who are asking for clothes are, and how they would treat the clothes if you were to "lend" them. I know, I have friends who would totally ruin stuff or never give it back. Don't be shy to think of yourself first. You're saving yourself from having to go out and shop...again.

Answer 7

Those are your children's clothes. Just tell them sorry your planning on more, and you have them put away in storage for your next daughter. Baby clothes are expensive, but goodwill, other thrift and second hand stores, and garage sales are a great way to accumulate clothes. Most of my son's name brand clothes are used, and they are the nicest ones he has. They only cost a dollar or two, and were originally 15-20 dollars. Even if this isn't what you did, suggest it to your friends. Tell them you found great clothes at garage sales and they should do the same.

Answer 8

Not selfish at all. I just wanted to include that I don't think you should loan them out either if you want them back. I loaned my daughters baby clothes to my aunt who adopted a drug abused baby without hesitation, however, I told her I wanted them back when the baby outgrew them. When I found out I was pregnant I asked about the clothes and she said she wouldn't give them back until her older daughter who just decided to start trying for a baby got to go through them. I was angry because some of those clothes I really wanted back, I don't mind helping esp since its my family but it would have been nice to have been asked first. I found out im having a boy so it doesn't really matter anyway, but still...good luck hun and don't feel bad you have to look out for your family before someone else's.

Answer 9

keep your clothes! you are not done having kids, and you want to keep them, you bought them, you took care of them, that is all there is too it. just tell the people that you are having a boy, and that you will be using them. as for the girls clothes, just say its the wrong season. and that they are all packed away... you are so pregnant, you dont have the energy to go rooting things out looking for them.



i agree that is totally rude to ask. if i was offered, i would take second hand stuff, but i would never outright ask. i had a friend of a friend ask for my stuff from my daughter, while i was pregnant with a second child i didnt know the gender of yet. i was just like, we already gave it away. ok i lied, but i did give it all away after i found out i am expecting a boy:)

Answer 10

I don't think so at all. I have a friend who was given a ton of baby clothes for her daughter, and the woman who gave her the clothes just found out she is pregnant again. My friend is refusing to give the clothes that no longer fit her daughter back to the woman who had given them to her because she wants to keep them for her future children (even though this woman's husband is getting deployed and can't afford to go out and buy all new baby clothes) THAT, in my opinion, is selfish. In this case though, you're just hanging onto what is already yours because you know you're going to need it.



Just tell the people that ask that you can't give them clothes because you need the ones you have for your baby. Everybody is having financial hardships, it's not your responsibility to make sure their children are clothed.

Answer 11

I don't think it's rude at all! It's so rude that people are asking for your clothes. They should know that if you wanted to give them away you would. My sister in law just found out she is having a boy, and I have an 8 month old boy, and she's asking me for my non jogging stroller, my diaper bag, and clothes. SO rude, considering she has a 3 year old boy and has multiple strollers including a B.O.B. and a Bugaboo! Oh yeah, she also wants my jumparoo, GEEZ I'M STILL USING IT. ah, sorry, but that drives me nuts.

Answer 12

That's silly.. keep your clothes!



I got all except like 2 outfits at second hand baby stores and at garage sales/craigslist. So you can get baby clothes really cheap. I got plenty of stuff at like 25/50 cents. I'm a single mom and I was able to afford that... so I'm sure they can find stuff too. They are really cute clothes too. So just give them those tips.

Answer 13

You are absolutely not being selfish. In my opinion it is not selfish to look after the things you have purchased in case of future use. It is not selfish to provide and want the best for your family. You are pregnant and these things are going to be used in the near future. It's actually a little rude of these people to ask for these items and to assume that you will provide for their children. Particularly as you are pregnant and will need these things shortly!

Answer 14

Simply tell them that you don't loan things out and currently have no clothing to give away. However, keep in mind that in future, if you have needs, they will remember.



I don't ever loan out things and it really irritates my family. I buy a lot of second hand stuff so that I can afford to buy certain things new, and I'll be damned if I'm going to lend it out.

Answer 15

No, it is definitely not selfish to keep your clothing you purchased for your children. Anyone who asks knowing you are not done having kids is very rude especially if they expect you to hand over things that you can use yourself. Had a friend and she would always drop hints because my son's clothes were "so cute" I was the one who found the good deals on ebay for the Ralph Lauren shirts or whatever and I wasn't done having kids but she was poor and therefore expected me to hand them over to her son. Nope, sorry don't think so!

Answer 16

You are not selfish. You are taking care of YOUR family. You have no obligation to provide for them. They got pregnant, they can figure something out. I have all of my son's clothing still. I am 19 weeks pregnant and don't know what I am having yet, but if it is a boy, I will be reusing everything.

Answer 17

No, your not selfish. If your not done, then your not done. People need to respect that, and how rude of anyone to ask you for baby clothes.

Answer 18

no its not selfish!!! u bought the cloth ur self! if these ppl cant afford new clothes there is 2nd hand! why would they go around asking ppl for stuff! that's disgusting i would never do that!

Answer 19

it is no ones responsibility other than the parents of the child to dress and feed them



screw the people who are asking. its incredibly rude to ask someone to just hand over anything.



you are not selfish, they are not to mention rude.



just flat out say no.

Answer 20

No. You're being realistic. Keep them and people shouldn't be asking for things. Nobody likes a begger.

Answer 21

Not selfish at all! Or at least if you give them out make sure they know that they are loaners and you expect them back.

Answer 22

No,I kept my son and daughter clothes for the same reason.

They are yours and you spent your hard earned money on them.