We were given a gift for our baby. We didn't use it. She wants it back to give to someone else, but...?

Question

My MIL gave us a 3-6 month old SNOW SUIT in APRIL at our baby shower. By the time our daughter was 3 months it didn't fit. It's a big snow suit like the one from Christmas Story. Anyway, we gave it away with a bunch of other stuff to Goodwill 2 months ago. My MIL asks about the suit at least once a week and I tell her every time that it doesn't fit. I didn't tell her that we gave it away along with a bunch of other things.

Today she called to ask about the suit again... My husband had to tell her again that it didn't fit. So she asked for it back so she can give it to someone else as a gift. (Am I the only one who thinks this is weird?)

Question is this:
Should I just tell her we gave it away, or should we just say our daughter wore it and outgrew it? (Seriously, she wore it out i the summer?)

I don't want to hurt her feelings; she's sensitive. But should I lie about it? I know she's going to ask again.

Answer 1

You are in to deep, you must lie. Tell her the baby was growing so fast she only wore it a couple of times and you gave it to one of your friends with a baby. Why? because she is going to think you didn't like it. She must have really liked it or she wouldn't keep asking about it. Stress that the baby is growing so fast she didn't get a chance to wear much of her clothes.

My children have a great aunt that gives us lots of things I don't like don't need and don't fit and on top of that they are usually from garage sales. I have come up with all kinds of lies.

Answer 2

A few options...



1. Tell her the truth you gave it away and hope she doesn't get too offended. She shouldn't have asked for it back anyway that's really rude.



2. Tell her your keeping it incase you have another child you like it that much and hope she forgets about it.

or

3. Tell her you had a friend over with her baby daughter and after her daughter was sick you gave her the snow suit because she didn't have clean clothes with her.

Answer 3

I would just tell her the truth, that is didn't fit your baby so along with some other things that did not fit her, you gave it away to Goodwill to help another baby out that will be able to use it.

It is kind of weird that she is asking for it back to give to someone else as a gift when it was originally intended for your baby.



Just be honest. Good luck

Answer 4

You shouldn't feel bad, if it was a GIFT. A gift is something you give to someone, not lend! Who cares what you did with it after she gave it to you, it was yours to give or throw away or do whatever you want with. I know you don't want to hurt her feelings but I think she is being very rude by hassling you about it all the time and asking for it back! Just remind her that she did give it to you as a present...maybe you could say you went looking for it and couldn't find it...or say you gave it to someone else for their child to wear with a whole bunch of other clothes because it doesn't fit your daughter anymore and they were short on money and you wanted to help them out so you gave them the clothes that don't fit her anymore (technically not lying)

Answer 5

Just say that you gave it to a friend who used it on her own child. What else can you do? Buy a new snowsuit just like the old one to give to your mother-in-law? That's nonsense. You're just going to have to be straight with her about the fact that you gave it away. If she's got any sense at all then she will realize that your daughter could not have used it in the summer (but then again, who doesn't coordinate ages with appropriate clothes for babies? I think I'm overestimating your mother-in-law). Just assure her that it is being up to good use...just elsewhere.

Answer 6

Actually she gave it as a gift, and she is way out of line to ask for a gift back. It sounds like she steps over many boundaries so I wouldn't want to rock the boat with an emotional person. I would tell her how much you enjoyed it, and when your daughter grew ou t of it you gave it to a friend who is struggling with money right now, so it went to a great family. If she gets angry, well it is not your problem. and let it go.

Answer 7

Tell her you passed it on to someone else who really needed it, since it didn't fit your daughter anymore. Hopefully she would understand that idea, a snowsuit isn't exactly the kind of thing you hang onto for the baby's hope chest... If you tell her you gave it to a person who needed it (white lie), it would hopefully hurt her feelings less than if she knew you gave it to Goodwill. Focus on the joy of giving and receiving "We really appreciated all of the wonderful things people gave us and wanted to share with others who were less fortunate than us" type of approach.



And yeah, it is kind of odd to ask for a gift back to give to someone else... Maybe she has someone she feels obligated to give something to but doesn't like well enough to buy something new for?

Answer 8

OMG this happens to SO many of my friends, one of my friends just had a baby girl, and her MIL gave her heaps of clothes, and now my friends baby has grown out of them her MIL wants them back! but my friend has already given them to me incase i have a girl in the future



i would tell her the truth, that way no more harm can be done. cause if you lie and she found out there'd be more trouble



just explain how you had a pile of clothes that were too small and the snow suit accidentally got thrown out with the other clothes... its only a white lie... just say you were gonna keep it but must have accidentally dontated it with the rest of the clothes cause you cant find it anywhere

Answer 9

Maybe you could say you gave it to a good friend who is needy (financially needy) because it was such a special snow suit and you wanted to pass it on to a special friend. I know it is a lie, but you did give it to a good cause so it isn't a complete lie. It may make her feel better that it was given away as a "special" gift to someone you really cared about rather than a box to goodwill.

Answer 10

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Answer 11

Just tell her you really appreciated it and used it on chilly summer nights, but it was given away and you can help her scope out some coats either by going together as a fun shopping trip or picking up a sale item if you see one this time of year. Or if she really is over the whole snow suit idea, go shopping for that person who was to receive your child's snow suit.

Answer 12

honeslty it was a gift, therefore she no longer has any claim to it. I'd just tell her, No she may not have it. it was a gift to your child and you think it's a bit tacky to ask for it back whether or not it fits!



seriously hon, put your foot down with your MIL or she will be coming back over and over with ridiculous stuff.



((married almost 9 yrs w/a MIL that knows how to push buttons well!))



Edit:

ya know i've been thinking about this...it seems to me that she purposely bought this knowing your baby would out grow it before you'd need it and that way she could just re-claim it to re-gift...what a nutter!



yeah i'd definately set her straight about it! don't let her think you're a push over.

Answer 13

I would just say that since she out grew it you may have put it in with the donation stuff to good will. Just tell her you'll look for it though and if you didn't donate it she can have it back. It was a gift to you/your daughter so I think it's kinda silly for her to ask for it back...it's not hers so she really shouldn't be asking for it back to begin with. I wouldn't worry bout hurting her feelings...just have you husband be the one to tell her of you can.

Answer 14

I'd just tell her that you gave some of the things away that didn't fit your baby to Goodwill. That's understandable to me?

Answer 15

Be honest with her. Tell her your daughter wouldn't fit in it by the time she would need it so you gave it away in hopes it could work for someone else.



It was a gift, it's not appropriate of her to be asking for it back anyway.

Answer 16

Just tell her you gave it to someone else who really needed it. Because you did right! Then remind her she gave it to you, so she cant be trying to get something back that she gave away!

Answer 17

She sounds like a bit of a nut.

Just tell her your baby grew out of it and you gave it away, so that another less fortunate child would have something warm to wear.

It's a bloody jacket... its not a family heirloom.

She'll get over it... if she gets into a huff about it, explain that there was no mal intent and that you were just passing it down to another child- but that it was a lovely gift.

If you dont have it to give back to her, then you dont have it... she sounds a bit nutty to be going to nuts over a children's jacket...

Answer 18

I would tell her you donated it for children who aren't as fortunate as to have a MIL to buy them things like that.

I wouldn't tell her that you guys had been lying to her about it, maybe just tell her that you were just getting things together to donate and totally put it in there on accident, not thinking about her wanting it back.

Hopefully that wouldn't hurt her feelings.

Answer 19

first off, who seriously asks for their gift back!?!



I would tell her you gave it to your friend to use that has a daughter. Someone from work or something, she doesn't need to know who!

Answer 20

I agree woth "luv2wsh" tell her you knew some one who needed it so you gave it to them. You wouldn't actually be lying because you did give it to goodwill!

Answer 21

I'd tell her that I gave it to good will after the baby out grew it. (that is very sweet by the way) It was yours so she can't get mad at you for giving it away after all it didn't fit.

Answer 22

I'm not sure I would say I gave it to goodwill. maybe tell her you know a baby it did fit and you gave it to them?

Answer 23

I would just tell her the truth, so you dont have the burden of you lying to her.

Answer 24

hmm, i think you should tell her you spilled coffee on it and when it came out of the wash it was ruined and so you had to through it away. be sure to tell her how mad you are at yourself and hope you can find another one in the right size because you loved it so much.

Answer 25

Tell her you gave it to another baby in need.

Answer 26

tell her the truth, let her decide if she still wants it back. if not she'll bug you on this for the rest of her life.

Answer 27

the truth shall set you free !

Answer 28

tell the truth . always tell the truth