Co-sleeping, I just need to know...?

Question

I am not judging. We never did it, but I am curious on a couple things.

1. Why? Do you have no fear that you or your hubby will roll on your baby? I'm a light sleeper, but I know my fiance probably wouldn't even notice...

2. TMI I know, but sex? How is that even possible with your one year old with you?

3. When do you plan on stopping?

Like I said, I am not judging, we just decided it wasn't right for us. I probably would've done it if I was single....

Answer 1

1. I started out co-sleeping because I was getting up many times in the middle of the night anyway. And plus, I was having to exclusively pump, so I was pumping in the middle of the night all the time. I would have gotten no sleep at all if I had to keep rocking her to sleep and then putting her back in her crib. So when she was a little tiny baby I would slept in the twin bed in her room.



2. Sex- well when your husband works as much as mine does and you are a parent- it doesn't matter to much about the sleeping arrangements.



3. I plan on stopping when she wants to. I have no problem with a family bed. Now all three of us (she is two) sleep in a queen sized bed and it works fine.



- the thumbs down is ridiculous for all of us co-sleeper- she asked why, she is not going to it just because we like it



co-sleeping is a personal choice for every family. It is not going to work for everyone and that is great, but don't judge others because that is what works for them.

Answer 2

1) We have the Arms Reach co-sleeper so no, we dont fear rolling over ever. Even a Snugglenest would work. Also, this is what ppl have done for thousands of yrs and the human race survived. NOT co-sleeping is actually the strange new fad. Also, why would i put a tiny helpless infant all alone in a big dark room on the other side of the house and go to sleep? I wouldnt be able to sleep! It was hard enough to get pregnant and stay pregnant...he is our miracle. So why would I now just dump him somewhere across the house now that hes born? The Arms reach works wonderfully. He has his own bed and hes still near enough to touch and look at.



2) Babies nap. And a quickie in the shower can be very exciting. Who says it has to be the bed right in front of him?



3) 30lbs or Maybe 6 to 8 months. (Hes a big baby)



It was right for us and thats cool. To each his own.

Answer 3

I posted a queston about co sleeping wih my daughter and all the troubles i am havingt o get her out ..



the first reason why we start doing this when she was a baby was because it made breasfeeding easier at night and i had a full time job and could get any sleep if i didnt do this



No we would never and never roll on her , we arent such deep sleepers .



And i never planned on having her in our bed until this age. I agree our situation got out of hand but dont regret co sleeping with her when she was a baby . I did what i needed to do and that is the exact same thing i am going to do now . GET HER OUT .

Answer 4

Our twins are 10 months old. They have slept through the night for the most part (we have had a few growth spurts and teething that disrupted sleep patterns) since about 3 months old. We do not co-sleep - there are two of them and they do well in their cribs. Every once in a while if one is sick or up early in the morning, we will bring them into bed to snuggle but we don't truly co-sleep. Best wishes!

Answer 5

1. Why? Do you have no fear that you or your hubby will roll on your baby? I'm a light sleeper, but I know my fiance probably wouldn't even notice...



Well I thought I was totally against it too. It started out basically because my daughter was an AWFUL sleeper... she would not sleep in her crib/bassinet for for than 2 hours at a time, and only about 5 hours total throughout the night. So finally around 2 months old we started pulling her into the bed with us in the middle of the night, and realized she would sleep for 4 hours at a time if she was with us. Finally around 4 months we decided just to start putting her in bed with us when we went to bed because she will sleep like 5-6 hours! I know many parents are lucky enough that their 4 month old will sleep longer stretches than that, but like I said... she has never been a good sleeper. And my husband is also a very light sleeper, so she goes right in the middle of both of us.





2. TMI I know, but sex? How is that even possible with your one year old with you?



Well certainly not with her in the bed. We do one of two things. Either put in her down in the crib first and hope we will get an hour before she wakes up. Or put her in bed with us and then sneak out and do it in the hallway or guest bedroom.



3. When do you plan on stopping?



I plan to stop when I get pregnant with number 2. Which if the plan goes right will be somewhere around when Zoe is 14-16 months. I figure by that time I will be more comfortable with her being able to sooth herself to sleep, and will invest a few sleepless night in helping her go to bed in her crib.

Answer 6

1. Why? Because it was the only thing that felt natural to me. Rolling on my baby has never been an issue.



2. Never been much for sex in bed in the middle of the night anyways.



3. We plan on taking it slowly and have no real time line, but to venture a guess I would say around the time he is 2. At that point we might have him in our room but in his own bed. Then, when he is ready, he will move to his own room. It really just depends on him. He is 9 months now so I can't be certain.

Answer 7

I am obviously not a mom yet, but hope to be one in a few years. I think many people go the co-sleeping route because it eases their minds. I'm sure there were times in the beginning when you had to peek in the make sure your baby was still breathing (even though you probably felt crazy for thinking she might not be.) However, I do agree that co-sleeping can be VERY dangerous. Parents accidentally roll over and suffocate babies and small children all the time! Many times babies fall in spaces between beds and tables or walls and can be seriously injured or suffocate that way. Also, it is very possible for babies to become tangled in sheets and become unable to breathe. I personally do not think I will allow my children to sleep in the bed with me (too many risks.) I think each parent needs to do what he or she feels is the safest and best thing for their child. About the 7 year old.... my dads half-sister slept with her parents until she was 11 ! They couldn't get her to sleep alone! Besides the dangers... you sometimes end up with a child who is too afraid to sleep alone for years and years. Congrats on doing what you feel is best for your baby ! :)

Answer 8

My daughter doesn't strictly co-sleep because she has her bassinet next to our bed, but in the early mornings (say after 3:00 am) she will end up co-sleeping.

1.) because its easier to breastfeed, AND because I love that she snuggles up next to me. I'm a light sleeper as well, and we have a King size bed so hubby is very far away from us and is aware that he shoudl not roll over.



2.) Its possible, you find ways and other places to do it. Not just the bed.



3.) Probably when we get over the fear of putting her in her own room that seems so far away from us (on the other side of the house). and yes we do have a baby monitor, but I prefer seeing her and hearing her breath up close, rather than through a monitor. But timewise, for sure by the time she hits 1-year old. By then I won't be breastfeeding her.

Answer 9

When my son first came home I just kept him in my room w/ me in my room. I set up his bassinet and kept it right next to my bed. He developed GERD (acid reflux disease) at about 3-4 weeks. He would throw up all the time, and the doctors warned me that if he didn't sleep propped up or at an angle that he could choke on his his throw up and eventually asphyxiate. There's a scary thought for a mom! So I ended up being a VERY light sleeper. I would prop him up on his boppy and he had one side of the bed. I only did the co-sleeping arrangment for a couple months, and more for peace of mind for myself.

By the time my son was 3-4 months old, I still had him sleeping in my room, but he slept in his play yard, and then by the time he was 6 months, I had transitioned him into his own room sleeping in his crib.

I never intended on co-sleeping when I was pregnant or even after he was born, as I know all the risks and how dangerous it can be. But you just never know what circumstances will arise and how you will deal with them.

Personally, I just wanted my son near me at all time so that I could constantly check on him due to the vomitting issue. He suffered from GERD until he was between 18-24 months, and to this day continues to have a sensitive stomach and gag reflex. (He's 4 now)

I'm currently 31 weeks w/ my second...and have no intentions of co-sleeping. This child however will sleep in my room for the first couple months, but in his own crib.

Answer 10

1. It felt natural. I was a lot less worried having my son in bed with my husband & I than I would have been having him in his own sleeping space. I never feared that I'd roll on or smother him and never had a 'close-call' either.



2. Our son falls asleep with us downstairs, we lay him down in a safe place and then get busy. Seriously, sex is so much more fun when not always done in bed. No, we've never had sex with our son in the same bed.



3. He's 21 months now. I've been considering getting him a big boy bed for his 2nd birthday and seeing how it goes for him. Now that I can explain things to him with him comprehending them rather than letting him being upset that he's sleeping alone, it feels like the right move. If he shows resistance, we'll try again when it feels right again. It's really not a big deal.

Answer 11

I'm not saying that I do it but I undestand why some people may.



1. They have little beds that you can put in bed with you to ensure the baby will not be smothered by you or your partner. It's their own bed, but gives them the comfort of being close to you.



2. You can always have sex during naptimes if possible or after a date. Or you can leave the baby with a sitter and go to a hotel or leave baby at a sitters house and have alone time at your own house. Spontaneous sex is nearly impossible once you have a kid anyways.



3. Usually people stop when baby feels comfortable sleeping alone or when they feel its time to switch because of growth.



Co-sleeping may actually make breastfeeding easier also. Its not something Id recommend but its also not something Id condemn.

Answer 12

People do this out of convenience for themselves. Not having to get up out of their beds. I can see this for the first few months but not after about 6 months.

Subconsciously if both you and your husband are happy that they baby is there.. you naturally won't roll over the baby.



Sex is an intimate thing and must be kept between you and your spouse. It's not as romantic or spontaneous if a little baby is in the same bed as you.. it's just weird... and inconsiderate of all parties!



Stopping should take place asap.. as soon as you can..

Answer 13

1. Because it made things easier all around. My daughter wanted to be near me at all times. I breastfed her so co-sleeping made it easier to do so at night without waking everyone up. I don't have a problem or worry with my husband rolling over on top of her.



2. We don't have sex. We aren't thinking about it. Believe me, my husband is totally against it right now because we could get pregnant again.



3. I plan to stop whenever she is ready for a bed of her own.

Answer 14

well... i was SO against co sleeping, but i sort of had to in a way. My son had jaundice when he came home from the hospital, and he was SO tiny the only way he could keep the billi-blanket on him was me holding it on him. we bought a bumper thingy so that the baby couldn't worm around in the bed, then a toddler bumper so incase he did get out of the bumper basket, he wouldn't fall off the bed.. we went through all of this because after the jaundice went away, we had a child with serious attachment issues to our bed...



why? because i was DRAINED and it was SO much easier to be able to just lay him in there with us.. but now, he is a crib sleeper...



sex? well.. for the first six weeks, it wasnt a problem... but after that, we had to be recreational lol. it only took a month to crib train him so now it aint an issue...



i stopped. the only reason i did it was because of me being dead tired... and i will admit its lazy. but once i got "refreshed" my first order of business was putting him in the crib!



what opened my eyes well lol.. my sister in law coslept with her first... she is now THREE! they just had a baby a few weeks ago and plan on cosleeping with her too, but are not butting heads with the 3 year old who won't sleep in her own bed lol.. stop the madness people!

Answer 15

We would let Morgan sleep with us quite a bit during the first 6 months, mainly just because it was easier to manage the nightly feedings and diaper changes. We both get up around 6:00 for work and it just seemed like we got more rest when he was with us. We never did roll over on him but we have always pretty much stayed in our places in our sleep. We are both the kinds of people who don't like to have anything or anyone touching us in our sleep.



We have never had sex with him in our bed or in our room. Ewww...



Morgan is 2 now and we usually let him fall asleep in our bed watching cartoons then we move him to his own bed. He actually has always done fine falling asleep on his own in his own bed. He just rolls right over with his stuffed monkey and falls asleep. We just like having him close to us.

Answer 16

1st answer very ill informed. Why? In the cave days mums and babies would have slept together for safety and warmth. My babies have their milk on tap, they feel safe, never need to cry for attention or food and they grow into the most popular easygoing secure children imaginable. Time to stop is when they are ready, or no longer fit in bed. About 4 ish maybe. You can place them safely on one side away from your partner, use a light bedcover and you are very aware of your baby even when you are asleep- far more aware than if they are in a cot or another room. As for sex - of course you dont do it with them in bed! As others have said there are other times and places for sex! Lol!! I believe in co sleeping 100% and we even added an extra bed next to ours so that our toddler twins can continue to sleep next to us.

Answer 17

1) why? My DD sleeps like a log in my bed, therefore I can sleep. I sleep alone, SO sleeps in a recliner so never feared of rolling over her. She has her side, I have mine :)



2) Sex? We don't do it much as it is but if we did we would take DD to her crib. She'll sleep there for at least 30 min before she wakes up crying.



3) I don't know when I want to stop because I love waking up to her cute half awake face and bed head hair. She's so cute :)

Answer 18

For me it came down to laziness and the need to get a good sleep. My daughter would not stay asleep on her own and getting up 15 times a night was really taking a toll on me. I found it easier when she did get up to take her in my bed and nurse her as often as she wanted. She would wiggle herself on there and go to town while I snoozed. I put a pillow between her and my husband and there was never an issue of either of us rolling on her, or the blankets coming up too high.

As for sex, there's no rule saying it has to be in the bed. ;) If baby is sleeping in the bedroom mommy and daddy have the couch, or shower, or floor.

As for stopping they eventually get to the point where they will sleep in their bed. I only brought my daughters to bed once they woke up at night. My youngest is two and it's not often anymore that she is in bed with my husband and I.

Answer 19

1. I did it 1st out of laziness I was breast feeding and it was more convenient. 2nd I was over protective and afraid of SIDS and I wanted to be able to be with him/ her (I did it with both kids) through the night. I sleep in the middle so he will not roll on her.



2. Sex has to take place during other parts of the day and in other parts of the house, sometimes quickly ;). The creativity in this makes sex even more interesting.



3. I stopped with my son at 2 and plan to stop when my daughter is 2 in January

Answer 20

i only put my son in bed with me when my hubby isnt home like if he's workin late or something this way i kno i will hear him when he wakes up (cause my hubby usually takes the night shift when he's home) kinda like a reminder "! oh yeah im on the night shift!" but we have a huge bed i usually leave him all the way close to the wall and im on the edge.





and sex!!!!! not an option cause my hubby isnt there HAHA





i plan to stop when the risk of sids is decreased (around 6 months) im so paranoid about that!!!!! cause he sleeps on his stomach which increases it ( he rolls on his stomach and cries if i flip him over)

Answer 21

there are no documented case -- ever -- of a sober mother rolling on to her baby. my daughter slept between me and the wall so that we didn't have to worry about her dad.

sex! come on now! :) we have sex plenty of places other than the bed. she napped in her crib, and we kept her in a sleep positioner if she was in bed without us.

we moved her to her crib at 9 months because she, and hence i, could no longer sleep in our bed. she woke every hour all night long for 3 months (oh yeah). she was one of the few babies for whom co-sleeping was eventually not the best arrangement. but we miss it and would go back to it in a second if she could sleep that way (she sleeps soundly in her crib now).

WHY? oh jeez, why not? i wanted her to be close to us at night when she was first born. i never felt right having her sleep alone. i felt -- and i am not judging those who don't, just answering your question -- that it was unnatural to put a little one, so new to the world, in a crib alone. and then we realized how much we loved sleeping with her and didn't want to stop. furthermore, it made night feedings so much easier -- both breast and after we had to switch to formula. i could dump the pre-measured water into the bottle of pre-measured powder and get to her before she even fully woke. so she and i barely woke, she ate, and were right back to sleep.

i loved it, it (until a point) was the best way ot maximize sleep, and, best, it gave my baby extra security and bonding in her earliest days while also reducing the risk of SIDS (which it is proven to do). i never once worried about rolling on her.

Answer 22

1. Im a single mom, and was breastfeeding at first and had a c section so it was just easier for me to get to him, then it became that we slept better that way.



2. My bf dont live with me and I live with my aunt so there Im not having sex at night in the same bed(thats nasty).



3. He sleeps in his own bed now(hes 2) most of the time sometimes if Im really tired and he falls asleep in my bed then i just leave him be. His bed is in my room still though cause I sleep with my door closed and he cant open it if he needed me.

Answer 23

1

Answer 24

Many people believe that co-sleeping to be unsafe, but if it's done safely there are many benefits. Co-sleeping helps confidence and self esteem of your newborn.



I believe that newborns who do not co-sleep are harder to control, less able to deal with stress and are more likely to be dependent upon their parents. I would think the majority of babies around the world co-sleep with their parents; it is only western beliefs in which children sleep on their own in their own rooms.



In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with co-sleeping with a new born, but everyone is different. Once the child reaches the toddler stage, that is when you stop the co-sleeping.

Answer 25

1. baby slept in her own little bed that fit between us



2. we didn't have sex much



3. we stopped when she stopped needing to get up at night and be fed. around 3 months she went to her crib and has never had a problem with it.

Answer 26

1) For me. We co-slept with our baby when we first brought him home for my peace of mind. My husband is a heavier sleeper than I am and we never had an accident. I kept my arm around my baby so if my husband WERE to roll he'd hit my arm first, waking me up.



2) Sex doesn't always have to happen in the night time! And if it does for you then that's pretty boring....



3) We did stop, after a couple months, and easily transitioned our baby into his bassinet and then into a crib around 4 months. He sleeps in HIS room now without any problems. There are some days where I bring him back into bed with me in the mornings after my husband leaves for work.

Answer 27

I asked the co-sleeping sex question on here a few weeks ago because I was also curious, and I got a variety of answers. Everything from "we do it on the couch" to "we do it in our son's toddler bed while he is sleeping in ours"!!!! I am sorry but, in your son's bed? Talk about no respect for boundaries.



I am with you...DH and I love our sex time together, alone, in our bed. And we both work, so that leaves us with only night time after the kids are asleep soundly in their own crib and bed in their own rooms.

Answer 28

1. Why - Because we both sleep better that way. I'm a very light sleeper, so I don't worry about rolling on him.



2. I'm a single mom. Not dating anyone. No sex life for me. lol



3. When he's ready. Hopefully by this time next year. (He'll be 2)

Answer 29

I think its not a good idea either for so so many reasons. What happens when you have 4 children and I ahd mine all close. I'd have 4 children in my bed. Not a good idea.

Answer 30

1) i do it b/c my son likes to cuddle and he has to be under me or my husband and his doesn't like the bed and we both are very light sleepers



2) well i have stitches from being split so sex is not what im worried about now



3)whenever he's old enough to hold his head up but during the day he sleeps in his bassinet

Answer 31

1. Why, because it was easier in the beginning with breastfeeding and I love waking up to her smiling face. No, I do not fear that hubby is going to roll.



2. Sex doesn't have to be in a bed. LOL



3. I plan on stopping when she is done breastfeeding.

Answer 32

i wouldn't do it b/c its hard 2 get em out once you start lol but i think people just start off not thinking about the long term

Answer 33

People simply don't care if it's a hazzard or not so they do it anyways.



They have sex with the baby in the bed or kids in the bed. They have no morals.



Some never stop but I've heard where some kids get scarred from the parents making them sleep together until they're in there teens.