HELP ME!!! My 6 month old throws senseless tantrums...I'm going insane!?

Question

Rest assured, he's fed, he's dry, no medical issues...he throws tantrums when I am not able to hold him right away or when he grabs for something he can't have, i.e., cell phone, remote. He cries uncontrollably and I leave him to it as I know that he needs to learn to soothe himself. He won't stop. While most kids would tire out, give up...after 47 minutes he's still screaming at the top of his lungs. I try my best to remain calm and don't want to reward his misbehavior by picking him up mid-tantrum. What in the world can I do?

Answer 1

You are correct in not feeding into that mess. I'd say it's time to start intorducing dicsipline. 6 Months may be too early to spank but it's early enough to know acceptable behavior from unacceptable behavior so he needs to be held accountable for his actions.



Mid tantrum, I'd walk away and ignore him, (as long as he's not presenting a danger to himself and anyone else). He'll get the point that tantrums aren't an effective way of getting attention. I'd go do the dishes, mop the floor and stay busy. If you just ignore him and sit around waiting for him to stop, that won't work. But if you carry on he'll notice it doesn't matter.



Is there any history of drug or alcohol use before pregnancy by dad or during pregnancy by mom?

Answer 2

At 6-months you might just have to give in and pick him up. You have plenty of time to teach him how to self-soothe, but at 6 months, it’s ok to pick him up. One thing that I found useful for tantrums is a good distraction. They’re upset b/c of something that isn’t going their way… if you distract them and have them focus their attention on something else, it can help. Notice I said “can”… sometimes they just want to be upset. But I still don’t see the problem with holding them. Especially at 6 months. It’s hard though, I know. Good luck!



EDIT - I think you’re misconstruing the advice that is being given to you. Without knowing if this is your first or second or third child, we can only assume that this is your first, which is why you’re asking this. And then we can further assume that you have never raised a toddler… which is where the real tantrums come into play, and where correctional behavior techniques start. At 6 months old, your child does not possess the “know-how” to understand why he’s frustrated, all he understands is that mommy is soothing. As a mother, why is that a bad thing? To know that your child is crying for you in an effort to calm him from something that he does not understand. If your child was 12 months old, or 16 months old, or 20 months old, we would probably be offering different advice. But you’re talking about a 6 month old, who is still technically an infant. Show me one infant that understands what you’re calling a tantrum, and then maybe I’ll have a different point of view. Best of luck to you, and congrats on the degree. Sometimes clinical knowledge and actual hands on knowledge gives you two different understandings of real life matters.

Answer 3

Hes only 6 months old he doesnt even understand what hes feeling just that he cant have something and most babies will cry when they really want to be picked up thats normal behaviour not a tantrum. Distract him with a different toy dont just tell him he cant have something. Ive never even seen a 6 month old throw a tantrum.

I personally dont even think it is a tantrum its him wanting some attention. And sorry but you shouldnt let him sit there screaming for almost an hour without picking him up thats soooo cruel. All he wants is to be comforted. Tell him no we cant have that but we can play with this. And keep those things he wants where he cant grab at them or even see them if possible.

Answer 4

Like another answerer said, babies cannot regulate their emotions. They have to be shown that there are other exciting things to play with than the things they cannot have. When I take something away from my son, I try to give him something else. If he is extremely upset about it, we go outside so he can "cool off." They have to be redirected out of the tantrum, they won't "get over it" themselves. If you can't pick him up for a little bit, that's definitely okay, but if he is screaming for that long, he needs to be tended to. Letting him cry for that long is, in my opinion, probably not helping him. He is a bit young to understand why you aren't responding. I think when he gets older and starts to become a toddler, you can teach him discipline, but 6 months is young for that. He is still an infant. Best of luck with everything & take care.

Answer 5

When you take the cell phone or remote away from him make sure to have another toys for him to play with. He's frustrated. Try diversion tactics versus ignoring the tantrums at this age. Like toys, or a baby Einstein dvd, or an exersaucer.

Answer 6

Are you kidding me? He is 6 months old! You need a reality check. reward his bad behavior? he is a BABY. I assure you that one day you will look back and think these "tantrums" are cake. You need to love on him. 47 MINUTES? I have to tell ya that I think you may need to give in. 47 minutes is way to long to allow your BABY to scream his lungs off!

Answer 7

your child needs a little discipline and a lot of love. he is currently training you and you need to put the shoe on the other foot.



make time to play with him on the floor with toys. so that he can crawl and interact with you in a way that does not mean cuddles.



make sure you cuddle him when he is quiet and reward good behaviour. he may need a lot of visual and audial stimulation so find a cd that suits his taste. and somestrong colours around him.



my first one was like this and he turned out to be seriously bright.



good luck

Answer 8

Kids do this for hours at that age. All you can do is put him in his crib for a while. Talk to your doctor to see if it could be colic, gas, or he needs a change in formula. If you're nursing, you could be eating something that doesn't agree with his stomach. So there could be some minor issues. A few gas drops might end this, but only if he has gas issues. Really, call your doctor.

My first son had colic really bad and we had to change his formula.

Answer 9

EDIT: If you're an expect on child behavior, why are you asking for help? Your kid is 6 months old and is already acting "bratty" according to you so maybe you could be all wrong on this whole punishing your kids until they learn to repress their feelings bit.



Have fun with that one!





Ok...



Your baby insn't able to cope with feelings like you and I can.



What behavior are you trying to stop? Are you trying to stop him from feeling sad and mad or are you trying to teach him to repress it?



Just soothe him and tell him that you will be with him in a moment, or buy him a toy cell phone to let him play with when he wants to play with yours.



Do you think he enjoys this?



Who told you that you're supposed to punish your baby for having negative feelings by making them stop crying before you will show them any care?



Whoever told you that was dead wrong. He might be fed, dry, and not sick but you know, care and comfort is also a need.





EDIT: I had this epiphony when I was trying to deal with toddler tantrums. I had been ignoring them for months and just letting my toddler scream and cry alone to herself. It got so bad that my father-in-law suggested I take it up a knotch and start punishing her for crying for "no reason"



So then I had a fight with my husband that weekend and he made me really mad and sad. I was bawling my eyes out and nobody came. I was crying and crying harder than I had ever cried in a long time and he didn't offer me any comfort and said that he wasn't going to let me manipulate him or make him feel bad and that when I could calm down I could talk to him.



That made me feel so unloved.



Wouldn't anyone feel that way? If you were obviously upset and crying and someone ignored you until you stopped wouldn't that make you feel unloved?



I will never do that to my kids again. When they cry, I comfort them as best I can. I don't give them what they want all the time but I do comfort them when they're crying and tell them that I understand and I will always love them.



I think when you ignore crying and/or punish it you produce screwed up adults like my husband. What kind of a man DOES that? Tells his wife she is being manipulative when she cries? That's just screwed up if you ask me.

Answer 10

Same thing your doing, when he is throwing a fit don't even look at him just pretend it is not happening and I would also just walk into another room and let him finish.