should i have my baby boy circumsized?

Question

i have eight days to decide what to do!
i want to but i don't know if i could watch him bear the pain!

MOMS WITH BOYS>>> I NEED HELP!!!!

Answer 1

Don't do it! It isn't your penis. The following information was provided by another Y/A member and I hope she doesn't mind my repeating it:



The penis is perfectly designed to interact with a vagina during sex. Without a foreskin, there is no gliding motion - this gliding motion and the movement of the skin over the head, is fundamental to a penis's function:

http://www.sexasnatureintendedit.com/10F...



There are many other things that are lost after circumcision, this page gives a list: http://www.norm-uk.org/circumcision_lost...



Circumcision was initially a punishment. Because Victorian America was very puritanical they thought that sex was bad. So back in the 19th century they devised ways of discouraging a boy from masturbating - after tying the boy's hands behind his back didn't work, they decided a more drastic measure was in order: circumcision. The newly circumcised penis will now become desensitized because it is exposed. He will also find it hard to masturbate as there will now be no skin to rub up and down (the gliding motion).



Here is a vid showing some of the views at the time:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=X09jPPeogLQ



.

Answer 2

We did not have our son circumcised when he was born. Being born is traumatic enough and I just couldn't see subjecting my precious baby to any unnecessary trauma. I didn't even research it at the time; I just knew in my heart that it wasn't right. I actually did start researching it in the 3 years after my child was born, and I'm now happier than ever that we didn't do this to him.



You will probably hear horror stories about how difficult it is to keep clean and all the "infections" he will get and all the teasing in the locker room and how traumatized he will be if he doesn't "look like daddy", but those are just myths that our culture has perpetuated because we don't know how else to justify this horrible practice that was forced on us by the Victorian-era medical profession.



I can tell you though, as the mother of a beautiful, intact little boy and the wife of a healthy, intact man, these really are just myths. Cleaning an intact infant boy could not be easier - just wipe it off like a little finger. A lot of the so-called "problems" we hear about are actually caused by too much unnecessary handling. Just wipe it off, then leave it alone. And read this pamphlet from nocirc.org http://nocirc.org/publish/4pam.pdf



I also don't worry about locker room teasing. In my state, only 37% of baby boys get circumcised at birth. Nationwide, the rate is about 50/50, so it’s possible that many of your child’s classmates will also be intact. If you think it would be bad to be the only boy in the locker room who wasn't circumcised, imagine how it would feel to be the only one who WAS. Also, consider this - what if you had the procedure done and it was botched? Imagine what kind of teasing he would get then. And how would you explain to your child that you had done this to him just so he wouldn't get teased?



And as far as "looking like daddy," how many adult men do you think really care if their genitals look like daddy's? They don't. This is more of a problem for daddies who were circumcised, because it forces them to consider that a part of their body may have been taken from them unnecessarily and without their consent at the most vulnerable time of their life. That's a pretty tough pill for anyone to swallow. Hopefully this is not a concern for your husband.



So how do most men feel about their own status? If they were circumcised at birth then they don't have a choice in the matter. Once done it can never be undone, so why not leave the choice to the person who is most affected by it?



And there are also complications to consider. Some are pretty serious ones, including death and dismemberment. Some complications won't even show up until later in life, like meatal stenosis. This is basically a buildup of scar tissue around the meatus (the opening that allows urine to pass) and is believed to occur in as much as 10% of all circumcisions. I know a child who is 13 and was just diagnosed with it. It can even affect some men for their entire lives. Here is a link to all the things that can go wrong: http://www.circumstitions.com/Complic.html

Honestly, I just don’t understand why anyone would want to risk it.

Answer 3

I'd recommend you don't. Circumcision is a painful and unnecessary procedure, which permanently removes a natural, important part of his penis.



Do some proper research on the procedure before deciding. Below are some interesting websites which I hope will help you to make the best choice.



You should also check out Mothering.com's forums for more insight from other moms on circumcision:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=44

Answer 4

I chose NOT to have my son circumcised. It is not medically necessary, and the very few UTI's that it prevents are negated by the rate of complications. People say that it is easier to clean, but that is NOT the case! With an natural penis, you just wipe like a finger, but with a circumcised one, you have to have gauze, Vaseline, push back skin to prevent adhesion's, and think about it... a fresh wound being soaked in urine and feces all day?!?!?!?!?!?!



The main reason you hear about boys needing to get circumcised at 3 or 4 is because of misinformation. Some old school doctors and nurses tell you that you have to forcibly retract the foreskin and clean under it every diaper change. not only is that not true, it is dangerous! At birth, and sometimes until puberty, the foreskin is attatched to the head of the penis like your fingernail is to your finger. It is NOT supposed to be retracted. It is like this in order to keep the head of the enis protected from urine and feces. Around the time a boy is potty trained, most boys are retractable. (you can pull the foreskin back) is this a coincidence? NO!!! There is no need to clean under the foreskin before it can be retracted because nothing can get under it. Do we need to clean under our fingernails? (the part that is actually attatched) no, because there is nothing to clean.





It is becoming less common is America (I don't know where you are?) So the locker room thing just wont hold up. Even if he does get made fun of for it, is it not our job as parents to build a healthy body image? If your daughter got made fun of for having small breast, would you immediately get her a breast augmentation? What are they making fun of anyway? At least he has a whole penis....



Looking like daddy, now this one makes me laugh! Ah, the ignorance of this statement! Since when do toddler boys look even remotely close to a grown man? What are you gonna tell him when he asks like he doesn't look like mommy or sissy??? And since when do teenagers compare penises with their father? This argument makes NO sense!!!



Your son can stay STD free with the use of a condom (which he should be using regardless of his circ status!) and still have his foreskin.



The foreskin is not just a useless flap of skin, it is a vital structure of the penis. http://www.sexasnatureintendedit.com/



If people are so worried about infections, HIV, and Cancer, the why why don't we give all baby girls routine mastectomies? That would eradicate breast cancer, which kills thousands every year, and is MUCH MUCH more common in the developed world than infections of the foreskin, penile cancer, and HIV put together!



The real kicker for me though, was the fact that I believe that we own our own bodies. Who am I to make that decision for my son. It is HIS penis, so it is HIS decision



As for religion, no one has the right to practice their religion on MY body. Your freedom of religion ends at someone elses body. That may be your child, but it is not your penis to sacrifice, kwim? What if your son doesn't grow up to be jewish/muslim? I was raised in a strict christain home and I am now atheist, it happens all the time...



http://www.naturalfamilyonline.com/5-bc/64-no-to-circumcision.htm



http://www.angelfire.com/ca5/intact/aesthetic.html



http://www.noharmm.org/mothering.htm



http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/circumcision/against-circumcision.html



http://childbirth.amuchbetterway.com/seven-circumcised-penis-myths-and-facts/



http://viewofcircumcision.blogspot.com/



The next three are about how male circumcision affects the woman



http://www.healthcentral.com/drdean/408/60750.html



http://www.healthcentral.com/drdean/408/8812.html



http://www.nzma.org.nz/journal/116-1181/595/

Answer 5

You have doubts about this, which is good.



At least you're considering the matter, I only wish that my own parents had given thought about what they did to me.



You see, I am one of the many who experienced a major complication from male genital mutilation, called circumcision.



The damage inflicted on me caused more than the usual loss of sexual sensitivity, resulting in my inability to reach orgasm in normal sex.



I didn't know what was wrong with me for years, until I finally found out about foreskin restoration. This has vastly enhanced my sexual sensitivity and ability and also has increased the intensity of orgasms, as well.



I feel very bitter towards my parents and the medical profession because of this. I am biased, and have a perfect right to be. I feel that chopping parts off of helpless infants isn't a good idea at best, and chopping off the most sensitive part of the male anatomy certainly will not help that individual in his future sex life.



I doubt that you would consider a female circumcision for yourself, and it would be illegal to circumcise a daughter who's under 18. Why would you have something done to a male that you wouldn't have done to yourself? Both male and female circumcisions are genital mutilation; genital mutilation is genital mutilation, regardless of the sex of the victim.



Recent research has shown that the circumcised male is more prone to HIV, and both viral and bacterial infection, in spite of the lies and old wive's tales.



The foreskin contains Langerhans cells, which have antiviral and antibacterial properties. At the height of the HIV epidemic, 80% of males in the USA were circumcised, and we had the highest rate of any western country. In Europe, Asia, South America, and Scandinavia, where circumcsion is very rarely done, the rates of infection were invariably lower.



In Pakistan, where the circumcision rate is about 90%, the HIV infection rate is 400% higher than in India, where the majority of males are uncircumcised, unmutilated.



Obviously, there has been a lot of "misinformation" about the so-called benefits of circumcision.



I urge you, for your son's sake, to leave him whole, natural and normal.



Very, very few men ever choose to be circumcised. It's usually forced on them as infants. Don't you think that a man should be able to decide about his own genital status?



Circumcision is the worst hoax ever perpetrated on the male sex.



A foreskin is not a birth defect; it is a birthright.



ERIC

Answer 6

I am a father of four sons. I must have changed millions of diapers over the years and have never seen any of the horrible things that people warned us about if we did not circumcise our sons. Now, with some of them in their teenage years, there are still no problems.

A little research on the internet will show that we made the right choice in leaving our sons intact. The myths that have surrounded circumcision, being healthier, cleaner and better are just not true.

If you go to www.norm.org and read about the reason and function of the foreskin, you will see that your infant son is better off being left natural.

You have grown a perfect baby in your womb. It just does not make sense to hand him over to doctors to cut parts off of.

The foreskin is a functioning component of your son's body. The decision to have it removed or left in place should be left to the little guy. There is excrutiating pain involved, and there is no adequate pain killer safe to use on an infant. Often, it is done with no thought to what the child suffers. Read about the procedure and imagine having your fingernail ripped off your finger, and then the skin sliced off with a knife.

I help a lot of guys start out in a foreskin restoration process. It is never an easy process as it takes a long, long time to complete, and is never as good as the original.

Many of the common complaints about circumcision that never manifest themselves until the infant is a teenager is the ugly scars, the skin bridges, skin tags, uneven skin matches, and of course, too much skin removed (any is too much) to be able to accommodate an erection without pain. The over-riding emotion is anger,....deep rooted and prevalent. Many of these guys have to vent their anger and frustration at being robbed of this functioning component of their bodies, without reason or consent on their part. I have listened to countless men tell how they feel such anger and often hatred for their parents for allowing this. I would be devastated to think that one of my sons was saying that about me.

It is a crime of silence as many guys would never think of standing up in a crowd and telling people they are not happy with their penis. It is just not acceptable in today's society. Yet the hurt is definitely there.

For the sake of your perfect son, please think of his rights as a child and the integrity of his body. Allow him to make this decision on his own, as an adult.

Answer 7

I would recommend NOT circumcising your son. The benefits do not outweigh the risks. One analysis found that for every 9 boys who might be spared a UTI by circumcision, another 12 boys at the least (the upper estimate was 40 boys) will experience severe complications from the circumcision. Thats great if your boy is one of the 9, but horrible if he's one of the 12. UTIs can be treated by antibiotics quite effectively. Botched circumcisions are much more difficult to fix. Its also worth noting that 99% of intact boys will never get an infection, compared to 99.9% of cut boys. That means you would have to cut 100 boys to save just one of them from infection. Thats 99 boys cut for no reason at all. Out of every 1000 boys who are cut, one will contract a UTI anyway.



Only 50% of boys nationwide are circumcised. Girls of your son's generation will likely have an entirely different view of circumcision as girls from yours. Just because you think intact is "gross" and "unsanitary" does not mean the women of your son's generation will. after all, think of all the differences between you and your parents. Did you know that when your grandparents were young, circumcision was very uncommon?



Next, it is VERY painful to an infant. Most doctors still don't use any anesthesia, those that do rarely offer adequate anesthesia because the only stuff that works is not safe enough to use in infants for such a "minor" procedure. Further, some of the pain meds offered to infants aren't even recommended for use on babies! Some doctors argue that it has been done "for thousands of years" without anesthetic- what they neglect to tell you is that a medical circumcision can take over 15 minutes to complete. A Jewish ritual circumcision, by contrast, takes under 60 seconds to complete (and the baby is given wine) Here is some info on the pain.....

http://www.cirp.org/library/pain/

http://www.circumcision.org/response.htm

http://www.cirp.org/library/pain/taddio2... (note in this one that even infants offered pain meds for the procedure showed signs of post traumatic stress!)



You should also know that studies have shown that the most sensitive parts of the male anatomy of ON the foreskin- NOT the head of the penis. By cutting off the foreskin, you remove a mans most erogenous genital tissue. Here is a study about that.... (note that other studies found no difference, but they neglected to test the sensitivity of the foreskin- they only tested the glans penis of intact and cut men and didn't pay any attention to the foreskin at all) http://www.nocirc.org/touch-test/touchte...



You should know that infant boys are EASIER to care for when they are intact. The foreskin does not retract until late childhood or even puberty, so you do nothing special, just wipe the outside of his penis clean and leave it alone. Furthermore, to prevent painful and bleeding erections later in life, doctors are now commonly leaving more skin behind- in a cut boy this means you may have to push the left over skin back at every diaper change and clean beneath it to prevent it from adhering or infecting. The very thing that mother's think they avoid by circumcising! In short- Intact = wipe like a finger, NEVER retract Cut= vaseline, clean thoroughly, push back remaining skin to prevent adhesions etc (the last step perhaps for several months or years)



Here is an excellent tutorial on the basics of intact care and circumcision....

http://www.lactivistintactivist.com/?pag...



Another factor in your decision is that circumcised boys experience a 12% increase in their risk of MRSA infection. MRSA is commonly picked up in hospitals (where circumcision is performed in non-sterile conditions) and has been known to kill adults. I wouldn't want to deal with it in an infant. 12% is a BIG risk, the risk of a boy "needing" a circ later in life is WELL below that- under 1%. http://www.nocirc.org/publish/12-Answers...



The so called "benefits" of circumcision are generally trumped up. A big one now is that it "prevents" AIDS. All the studies showing "benefits" like this have been poorly designed and inconclusive. Also, for every study that finds a "benefit" there are more studies that find no benefit. http://www.icgi.org/



It is rather eye-opening to see how circumcision first became popular in the US to begin with. It was virtually unknown in this country until the 20th century. This slide show takes you through the rise of circumcision.... http://youtube.com/watch?v=f4unKTMpBGA



Finally, you should watch a video or two of the procedure so you are fully informed of what your infant will go through. I will warn you that these are graphic. If you can't handle watching them as an adult, why would you expect your infant son to endure them?

Gomco Clamp- http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=...

Plastibell- http://newborns.stanford.edu/Plastibell....

Answer 8

No, it's cruel and unnecessary. Rates are dropping rapidly in the USA, and the USA is the last country where it's commonly performed. There's really no need for it, it's not cleaner (everybody needs to wash) and it can result in complications plus it's horrible pain for the baby.



You don't have to do it immediately, you can put off the decision beyond 8 days, you can usually get it done in the first couple of weeks if you want. Better to leave it as is then if you change your mind you can do it, than do it and if you regret it, you're stuck (and more importantly your son is missing part of his penis). Though I recommend leaving the choice up to him.



Harriet

Answer 9

I read some thing (might've been a YA question...) about circumcision. It was a woman asking if men wanted to be circumsized. All of the answers (there were a fair few) said that nobody who is uncircumcised wants to be, and some people who are wish they weren't.



So I would recommend not. There's no real good reason to do so, and it may be regretted later in life. If he ever wants it done, then it can be done later.

Answer 10

In England you only have your son circumcised for religious reasons or medical problems. In England you would stand out with that done in a normal situation, toilets or with girls. It is very rare to see it done.



but if it's acceptable and you want it done where you are then do it. Doctors in England don't unless needed and will refuse.

Answer 11

Well it's a personal decision. It is yours to make.

With that said, we decided not to have our son circumcised. There is really no need for it. People will probably say for hygienic reasons, he'll need to be circumcised, but the penis is a self-cleaning organ when left uncircumcised, it will keep itself clean with general bathing.

Answer 12

no it's just cosmetic really would you get your baby a nosejob without anesthetic? it's like that.



not done and glad. never would want to be. no problems. you don't get infections from having a foreskin, you get an infection from bad hygien.



PS Freya is right the foreskin does not pull back for several years which makes it even easier to keep clean and protects the sensitive skin

Answer 13

I have three sons who aren't circumcised and am completely happy with my decision to leave their perfect bodies alone. There's no reason to circumcise and so many reasons not to.



http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/

Answer 14

well my hubby is the youngest of 5 boys and none of them are cut so i have been told. and that is the reason why we chose not to have our son cut. there should be no difference in dad and son, they should be the same. we will teach him the right way ti clean himself and every thing will be fine.

Answer 15

Circumcision is the amputation of the foreskin, not extra skin but an integral part of the penis; measuring 15 square inches in an adult, over half the penile skin, including the most sensitive parts of the penis. The foreskin is packed with nerve endings, special anatomical features like the ridged band and has a unique elastic gliding action, allowing it to slide on itself and act like lube. This action is what most males use to masturbate with. Circumcised males use what skin they have left, except those who are cut so tightly that they have to use lube or just rub it dry. The intact male can stroke the entire length of his penis using his foreskin and also has the option to use lube too, if he wants to. During intercourse the foreskin acts like lube on entry and may act as a dam, preventing lubricating secretions escaping from the vagina. In one study women reported that sex with an intact partner was gentler and more satisfying since he doesn't have to thrust as hard to feel enough stimulation. Removing the foreskin turns the surface of the glans from an inner mucosal membrane to outside skin. Newly circumcised adults usually go through some weeks of intense discomfort as the glans is constantly exposed to rubbing on clothing, until it develops a thicker keratin layer and becomes less sensitive.

Not one major medical organisation in the world recommends routine infant circumcision anymore. The US is the last western nation still doing this to about 50% of its newborn males but even there rates are falling and many insurance companies no longer cover it, because it is deemed a waste of money. Sadly they often still don't use anaesthetic either and when they do it’s risky and ineffective. It's child abuse, pure and simple.

The penis forms as one organ and at birth the foreskin is usually fused to the glans like a fingernail to its finger. So there is no cavity for germs and dirt to collect in until it separates naturally later, at an average age of 10. Only the boy himself should retract it and then he can be taught to skin back and rinse with plain water regularly.

Misguided attempts to retract too early, often by doctors and nurses, are the main cause of damage to boys’ foreskins and the real main reason for childhood circumcisions.

To perform a neo-natal circumcision the circumciser has to rip the foreskin away from the glans with forceps. Then the foreskin is either cut away or clamped until it falls off. Both methods cause the baby extreme pain and his raw glans and wound sting every time he urinates. It's quite common for the raw edges of the cut foreskin to fuse to the raw glans during the healing process, forming skin bridges or tags. These complications and other more serious ones are often not found till puberty and do not show up in complication statistics.

More serious complications, though not common are immediate. Some babies lose their penis to infection, bleed profusely (often because they are haemophiliac) or even die each year.

The claimed benefits of circumcision are a beat up (based on flawed studies) and don't really exist but medical authorities have worked out that the overall complication rate is higher than all the benefits claimed by the pro-cutting advocates. One by one the claims are disproved but the pro-cutting zealots come up with more and keep quoting the old ones despite the evidence against them. For example you have more chance of dying from a circumcision or losing your penis from infection than from penile cancer. The rate of penile cancer is higher in the largely-circumcised USA than in European countries where less than 1% of males are circumcised. The US Cancer Society does NOT recommend routine circumcision.

A very recent study in New Zealand followed a cohort of boys through life from birth to age 32. About 40% were circumcised. The intact males had a slightly lower rate of sexually transmitted infections than the circumcised but there was no significant difference.

Using surgery to mutilate the genitals instead of washing in a modern western society makes no sense. Normal intact male genitals are even easier to wash than female ones and the same substance, smegma collects in the genital folds of both sexes. A few intact males have problems with tight foreskin but this is only a tiny proportion of intact males. The condition can now be almost always treated with simple stretching exercises, sometimes in combination with a steroid cream that speeds up the process. Many doctors don’t know about this in the US.

I am circumcised and hate it. I wish I'd been given the chance to choose for myself. Intact men can choose to get cut at any time in their life, though most have no desire to do so. Many men resent being circumcised. It's just not something that most of us talk about a lot, even to our parents.

Your son will grow up with many intact friends and there is every chance he will resent this unnecessary cosmetic surgery.

Geoff

Answer 16

2 boys and neither are done/cut. I figure in this day and age they can clean it efficiently themselves and if there happens to be some sort of infection later on in life atleast their will be something left to cut away if its that bad !



Sorry but I would leave them and let them get done later on in life if THEY decide to be done - is dad done ? if not send him to be done FIRST and get him to tell you if its ok ;-) ;-)

Answer 17

I believe it is a choice, but not yours to make. If you don't do it remember that the foreskin and glans are fused like your fingernail to you finger, so do not attempt to pull it back (It does not need to be cleaned under until it detaches. Wait for the child to do it himself and then teach or tell him how to clean it). It might not detach until puberty.

Answer 18

There are circumcision clinics now in Africa because circumcision prevents HIV transfer by 60% from females to males.



So obviously, it is a hygiene thing. For good reason.



Also I just think morally its a good inclination to remind them about where they came from and what it means because a circumcision implies things like a respect for meekness and chastity.



I know you're worried about the pain but its really only temporary, and the pain of being born is really much worse. You know how bloating and changing of bone structure hurts with pregnancy? well think if you were doing all of that at an exponential rate, changing from an infant in a different pressurized feeding, bleeding, breathing system to a child our in the world with light and wind and that crazy changing building body! That's why babies are made to forget their infancy- it really hurts! But all that growing and adjusting is for their benefit, just like their circumcision. A circumcision is a puddle in the ocean of pain. But we really need to be careful with emotional pain.

Answer 19

If he needs it, sure.



If he doesn't, it is medically classified as a cosmetic surgery here in Australia.



So basically, you are picking whether or not to "Beautify" your child.



How do you feel about giving a baby a face lift??

Answer 20

You can always let him decide when he gets older.

Answer 21

No

Answer 22

I have two boys... Neither are cut



Don't do it:)

Answer 23

test

Answer 24

In the USA it seems to be the Normal thing to do. Everywhere else unless your jewish they look at you like your a weirdo. I think it's a personal choice. You do what you feel comfortable with not what other people think is right.

Answer 25

yes, i had my son circumcised. i felt bad at first because i was like you scared when i had him i was like he is so little, but his Doctor assured him he would be fine. they really don/t feel it. plus it's easier to clean and less likely to get infections. my son who is 2 years old, was fine. he wasn't crying or being fussing. everything went fine. it is really up tp you, but i think it is a good idea. good luck and don't worry everything will be okay.

Answer 26

if you feel its the right thing to do then yea do it!!!!



it is cleaner.. but eitherr way cut or un cut mum and dad need to teach him to "clean it" properly!!!! form day dot!!!

Answer 27

If you don't want your baby to be suffered with syphilis when he grow up, do it don't wait.

Answer 28

definitely!

Answer 29

My mom had it done with her sons, my brother had it done with his son... We are all fine. Even my dad had it done, and he is fine, almost 60 years old.