Breastfeeding dilemma....Could use some advice/experiences....?

Question

Breastfeeding dilemma....Could use some advice/experiences....?

Answer 1

I had all kinds of issues with my son for the first five weeks. And then suddenly, it clicked, and I have to say, I'm very grateful I stuck it out to get to that point. 5 weeks of misery pales next to the 52 following weeks of bliss.



I wonder if you're overthinking the whole thing. I think one reason woman, like myself, have such a hard time breastfeeding, is because we have bottlefeeding expectations, where we can measure consistency and ounces. I'm going to gently suggest that the bottlefeeding when your milk isn't coming is, is part of the issue.



Breastmilk changes from day to day, and from feed to feed, and even throughout a feed. That's normal. And if your baby is still hungry after nursing, the best thing is not to pump and bottlefeed; it's to nurse some more.



I nursed my daughter very different than I did my son. With my son, I schedule fed him, I pumped and cup fed him. With my daughter though, I demand fed her. For as little or as long as she needed. I didn't have any of the problems I did with my son. I think my approach created the problems I had with him, and those problems melted away as I gained confidence and comfort with being a mother.



Nobody can tell you how long you should put up with being miserable; only you know your threshold. But if you are feeling guilt, then you know you have not reached that threshold yet. Stick it out one more feeding, one more day, until you do reach that threshold, or it gets better. Try not to put sdo much pressue on yourself, and try not to over analyze each days feedings. If you nurse when she's hungry and avoid the bottles, she'll have enough, and your supply will settle down.



You also should know that it doesn't have to be all or nothing when you do reach that limit. You can bottlefeed and also continue to breastfeed if you want.

Answer 2

Most important thing to remember is this is supposed to be the happiest time for you and your baby.



you need to do whatever you feel is right in your heart, whether it be trying for a few more weeks( because the first few weeks can be the most difficult) or stopping and using formula.



my first child was very difficult when it came to breast feeding ( exception to popular belief....NOT ALL BABIES LIKE TO BREAST FEED!)

I know this sounds like a huge contradiction but my son hated to breastfeed we tried for three straight months I consulted tons of nurses and specialists.



we eventually switched to formula and he was a much happier baby!!



but in the end dont listen to any one else when they tell you you are doing the worng thing! do what is best for you and your baby and they will get over it!

hope this helps you!!

Answer 3

Due to the fact that she is high need is all the more reason to give her what she needs from the breast. I had a similar situation with my second. He was delivered C-section and would not drink from me. He had colic and screamed every time I tried to give him the breast. I got a high grade pump and so I pumped every two to three hours for 2 months straight and would always offer him the breast first and then give him the bottle with breast milk in it. Finally two months later he just latched and that was that. From there on out he was at the breast.

I think the reason your milk is fluctuating so badly is 1) stress of the situation and 2) because you keep switching from formula to breast and it's telling your body you don't need that much milk from it. Here is also some helpful info about breast vs. formula that may encourage you to keep at it. Good luck

http://www.breastfeedingtaskforla.org/HowDoesFormulaStackUpToBreastmilk-detailed.pdf

Answer 4

it sounds like your having let down problems, actually this can be fixed by just letting your baby suckle on your breast. The crying can be anything, from needing to be burped to trying to signal your body into a let down. Have you talked to a lactation consultant? You could rent a hospital grade pump from a pharmacy and try to pump lots until you get a good supply. Have you tried fenugreek? mothers milk tea didnt work for me, but fenugreek made me pretty much drip milk day to night, temporarily but it helped.

In Africa, the mothers there, only breastfeed, so they have to make it work, the babies suckle just enough to get a let down and thats it. So their feedings are anywhere from 20 minutes to 30 seconds. Try to stimulate your nipples while your preparing for a feeding (flick them, twist them, tickle them), this helps bring on a letdown.

Answer 5

I could tell you from two experiences that that is what most of us go through in the begining. And when I say begining I mean up to 3 months till it gets better (towards that ohhh this is so fulfilling to bond with my baby this way). Its just something that is not mentioned a lot, that breastfeeding takes so much effort. There were many nights when I wanted to throw in the towel and just formula feed instead. What kept me going despite having cracked bloody nipples, mastitis 3 times (once with my 1st and twice with my second), and horrible pain from my baby not being able to latch on was that bond thing that you talked about.

I know not many people would wait 3 months for that, and if its too much for you you shouldn't keep torturing yourself and just bottle feed with formula. Its not a big deal, and if anyone gives you slack about it just look at them bad.



Good luck

Answer 6

I had a c section and had a very difficult time getting her to latch on..i had to have a lactation nurse help me every time i nursed for the 2 days i was in the hospital and most times it took us 30 min to get her to latch on. after 6 weeks i started having excruciating pain and found out i had reynauds of the nipple...took some vitamins and was able to nurse again no prob. after 2 months the pain came back even worse and i wasnt able to nurse for a whole day.. i considered giving up nursing at that point and just switching to formula full time, but i doubled my vitamins and the pain went away. i decided at 4 1/2 months to try formula again and considered quitting breastfeeding..but the guilt got to me too..then she had an allergic reaction to formula and now i really have no choice at the current moment but to breastfeed. i now what you are feeling...its really hard to give up on something you have strong convictions about..ultimately do what you feel will be the better bonding experience for you both. dont listen to what other people say..this is a personal thing! i hate to see my little one cry also..she wasnt happy about going strictly back to breastfeeding because it is so much easier to get it formula out of the bottle. :) good luck and do what you know is best for you both in your heart!

Answer 7

If you use formula at all it is going to affect your milk supply.The more you breastfeed the more milk you produce when you use a bottle you are preventing your baby from stimulating your own milk supply.



Seek advice from your health visitor about this she can help you.



Don't stress about this just do what you can seek the support you can and if it doesn't work out you tried your best.

Answer 8

I would continue to pump and give it to her in a bottle if that is working. I always found that when mine wasn't latching well I would just wait for his mouth to open real wide and then flatten my nipple and put as much of it in his mouth as possible (the whole areola). I hope that may help a little. Good luck.

Answer 9

I went through the exact same thing with my daughter. I feel your pain. I was so exhausted mentally and physically that I went to my doctor in tears. My doctor told me that it is healthier for the baby to have a happy mother than to have breast milk.



If you really have given it your best shot and it is just not working, just switch. And don't let anyone give you a hard time about it.

Answer 10

I am not sure where you are but the United States does put a great deal of pressure on women to breastfeed.Breastfeeding is wonderful IF it works for you. Formula is just fine if it doesn't. The research that La Leche shows us is a bit lacking on details. In fact, there is only a tiny difference between developmental levels of breastfed kids and formula fed kids at very young ages. And after a few more months, those differences disappear. I am an experienced high school English teacher and I have never looked at my students and said..."Boy, I bet THAT kid was formula fed." :)

I had my first baby about 11 months ago and so wanted to breastfeed. However, my daughter did not. We burned through five lactation specialists and each session ended up with me and little girl in tears. I ended up pumping for three months. I hated every minute of it.

Pumping burned me out and took a great deal of the joy out of my day. I felt disconnected with my child and the rest of my family. When we went to formula after three months, I felt I had so much more time to love on my daughter (something that is impossible when you are holding two plastic plumps to your boobies).



My advice is to look at the research...there really aren't any developmental differences between breast and bottle and look to yourself and what you want. If you are miserable, or even worse, a miserable martyr, your time with your baby will be flawed and diminished.

Good moms use formula, too!