Is this a dirty habit or am I too fussy?

Question

My Mother in Law....she plays with my 5 month old baby and you know how babies sort of pat your face? And your mouth area? Well my MIL lets the baby put her little hand right inside my MILS mouth...you know..she makes a game of it pretending to eat the babies hand....well it has always grossed me out when she did it with my 1st child...but I never said anything as I was too shy...when I saw her do it with my youngest I said "Eeew..don't do that...2 and she said "Well the baby put it in" and I said "Well you have to take it out...mpouths are full of bacteria..I dont let her put her hand in my mouth" and then the baby put her own hand in her mouth and I said.."See...straight in her mouth! andmy MIL said "It was the other hand"...I MEAN COME ON!!! the other would have soon followed...I am not an over cautious Mum, I know some germs are good for babies...but I am not having that! I let the baby play on the floor etc. with no worries...but putting her hand in someones mouth? YUK! What do you think?

Answer 1

YES I HATE IT TOO..



Sticking their fingers in my babies mouths for them to suck on(When younger)



Sharing their food with my eldest daughter(like having a bite off something then offering my daughter, she also tries to feed her off the same eating utensils)



MOST DEF GROSSES ME OUT!! and my MIL is always sick 2 being a school teacher..

Least u have the courage to say something.. i just complain to my Husband as soon as they aren't present..



I think ur allowed to be a cautious mother, protecting ur children is a top priority

Answer 2

have never seen any problem in it personally, my little boy is nearly 9 months and he used to LOVE that game.

I don't worry at all about that sort of germs, after all he crawls around the floor, the dogs occasionally give him a lick, he bites their tails and plays with whatever he finds on the floor. He also sees his little friends who don't know about flu and bug germs and cough over each other and put their hands in his mouth etc etc.



Actually, there are an estimated 1 000 000 000 000 on the human skin and only 10 000 000 000 in the mouth so actually, I would reccommend that your MIL isn't allowed to TOUCH the baby at all and is ONLY allowed to play the mouth game!



p.s. ok, I understand the smoking thing but what difference does it make if your MIL is from a different country??!

Answer 3

I personally think you're being a little over cautious. Your bubba is going to put far dirtier things in her mouth that that over the coming months! I should think your MIL's mouth is one of the more sanitary places to put her little hand!



That said, you are the baby's mother and if you don't like it then that should definitely be respected. Perhaps next time you could say to her "I know it's a bit silly, but it's just one of those things I don't like. We all have our little quirks don't we!" and make a bit of a joke out of it. If she still won't stop then start getting firm.



EDIT: As she smokes, I think I might be a bit more picky about it - but then, I'd not let her near the baby straight after a cigarette anyway.

Answer 4

Even if you are being over-sensitive and over-protective (which I don't think you are) she is your baby in your house and the Ma-In-Law is a visitor and should abide by your wishes. It's not like it is just a short visit either, she is here a few weeks so she has to make sure she does things your way. You are the mother and if you don't want baby's hands in someone's mouth (ew!) then that is the end of the matter.

Answer 5

Even though I don't think it's a dirty habit as such I do understand where you are coming from as my son tries to do the same to me and my partner but we just basically hold his hand kiss his hand or fingers and then try to distract him with something else. I wouldn't be very comfortable with having his hands in my mouth purely because it isn't very hygienic so I definately wouldn't be comfortable with his hands being in anyone else's mouth :) Tell her nicely that it really bothers you and you would appreciate if she would respect your feelings and do the kissing game with his fingers or hand or if you still don't like that either then just hold his hand and let him stroke her face or her hand and then distract him with a toy etc. If she still doesn't respect your wishes then just make sure you have baby wipes handy to wipe his hands afterwards....

Answer 6

first off, its your baby and what you say goes. who cares if others think its over bearing or paranoid or whatever. its your baby, and you're the one who worries over your child. i used to be too shy to speak up and insist that people wash their hands before touching my newborns. it only took them getting quite sick once for me to get over being shy about it. if you're worried about germs and your baby's hand in someones mouth makes you anxious, i'd be upfront and say you dont like it. after all, if your baby does get sick, you're the one whos going to be up all night nursing her. and about the smoking, i feel the way you do. i wouldnt let my baby pick up a cigarette, so i certainly wouldnt let her put her hand in a smokers mouth... even beyond that, i wouldnt let my baby pick up chewed food or gum that came out of someone's mouth so i certainly wouldnt let her put her hand in even a non-smokers mouth. i know germs are going to find their way to my baby, after all, babies play on the floor and out almost everything in their mouths, but that doesnt mean im going to *encourage* behaviors that can increase her exposure to illness. so, the long and short of it is this: if it makes you uncomfortable, you're not being unreasonable. after all, no one cares more about a child's wellbeing than her parent, and no one but her parents will be caring for her when shes unwell. as her mom, you have the right to say what goes on with your child regardless of how the larger part of society feels.

Answer 7

Its the most natural thing in the world,it also teaches the child how to interact and laugh,it is good for the child to have this sort of bond and this has been going on since mankind started,germs must be there for kids to develope immunity to them,removing the natural body oils by too much washing etc can make a child vulnerable to all sorts of bugs.A happy medium is called for,mums ,usually,naturally feel whats right for their kids,but ,you can read too many books by young know it all,s who have never had kids.A small child is never happier than playing in mud or a puddle of water.

Answer 8

Get a grip. You are the one who will make your baby ill.



The best time for your child to be exposed to mild germs are when they are young. Just relax, your baby is learning. She is discovering the different parts of the body and what they can do.



You mother in law obviously has more experience in bringing up a child, she brought up your husband, and he must have turned out well, you like him.



PS You have come on here to get affirmation for what you think, no one else is going to change your mind!

Answer 9

Hey Hun, I'm a mum of a 15 month boy, umm...tough one, i must admit i have done that with him, and he's never had any bug because of it or anything..i agree that babies "need" some bugs, as babies who have everything completely clean all the time, are usually the ones who are quite ill when they do come across a bug!little bugs now, strengthens their immune system, so when they have a bug later on, their bodies can fight them. I shouldnt worry too much, she'll pick many more bugs up believe me!as soon as they're walking, they put every object in their mouth they come across, my son still does, he finds a crumb on the floor and eats it! i stop him as much as i can, but you can only watch them constantly for so many hours a day!I think our mums generation were alot more laid back about cleanliness etc, as my mother in law she said never sterilised anything for any of her 4 children, even at birth, and my husbands 21 now. its strange though, whenever im ill, he never gets it...i sometimes wonder! haha.. anyway, feel free 2 email me for a chat, id like to get to know other mums.. [e-mail]

Answer 10

well if you consider it form the childs point of view its quite pleasurable. Freud came up with the theory that people go through an oral stage which is the mouth and if they don't go through that stage then they have mental health problems later. I see your point of view but if it makes the baby and mother in law happy so what. I never used to get on with my mother in law and there is probably conflict with you two. Just be flexible and count to ten take a deep breath and think life is for living enjoy it now because tomorrow might not come.

Answer 11

You asked: "Is this a dirty habit or am I too fussy?" but anyone who gave you an answer saying that you are too fussy you have got annoyed with them?

You have your opinion and it obviously isn't going to change so if you think its wrong then don't allow it.



I personally would find it a little bit gross too but I dont mind my baby who is also 5 months putting his hand in my own mouth



MY GOD: 'LUCIOUS' YOUR PROFILE PIC HAS BEEN AIRBRUSHED TO WITHIN AN INCH OF ITS LIFE!!!!!! YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR MADE OF PLASTIC LOL!

Answer 12

Carry some antibacterial wipes with you in your diaper bag. When your MIL is done playing with your baby, wipe her hands off. It's a fun for babies to play that game, but it would probably bother me too.

Answer 13

Oh My Good Lord God!



Does your baby have any cuts on its hands? If it does then yes you shouldn't let your MIL do it but if your baby has no cuts he wont catch anything!!



You are being wayy too fussy. If you do not allow your child to catch bacteria then they are more at risk to loads of infections etc.



If your MIL is happy to do it and your child finds it funny why ruin the fun?



As a society we are now too clean hence why we have bugs (EG MRSA, c.diff).

Answer 14

The human mouth is the worst place for a babies hand to be because it is one of the dirtiest places in your house. Babies usually place their hands in their own mouth, so what ever your baby touches will inevitably have it's germs and bacteria spread to your child's mouth. On top of this, babies have weak immune systems against these kind of things.

Answer 15

It wouldn't normally bother me as i do this with my baby, but the fact that she smokes would really bother me. Next time she does it just say 'she is teething and her mouth is sore, can you not do that'.

Answer 16

i dont know if its realy bad for the baby but the human mouth is one of the germiest things around so i wouldnt want my baby doing that when its born

and it is your baby and your decision and i think your mother in law is being quite rude in not listening to you

every one raises their baby differently and you dont sound over bearing as your not wirried about other germs just the mouth

i would try talking to your mother in law again and if that dosnt work get your partner to talk to her because its your baby and you dont need the worry of this

Answer 17

its a common thing for babies to do, they find it a fun game....they put their hand in their mouth, so think its fun to put it in other mouths.



to be honest, your baby needs to have some colds and stuff so it's immune system can build up...keeping it too sterilised can cause problems in the future...



if you really are against the baby putting their hand in other peoples mouths, you will need to stop it putting their hand in their own mouths to break the habit!

Answer 18

All babies do it and all grans will pretend to eat the hand, some mums do it too.

Lighten up, I'm sure you did it and it never did you any harm did it?

You are being overly cautious and over sensetive and I'm also positive that you are hurting your MIL's feelings in the process.

I feel so sorry for Grans these days with so many uptight and overbearing mothers, it can't be much fun.

How will you react when your child puts things in it's own mouth, like mud and worms and such.

Answer 19

Babies love this game, I remember my daughter and my niece and nephew doing it. However there has to be a limit. personally when my daughter used to do it i used to pretend to nibble on her fingers and that made her pull them away, sure she'd do it again but because she wanted to play the nibbling game not because she wante dher hands in my mouth any more. try doing this game with baby and it will soon become the favoured game and try passing it on to your MIL as a game preffered by baby. Good luck!

Answer 20

i think your being over paranoid! its not like she is doing it maliciously! and yes the mouth is full of germs but youve swapped saliva with you husband/boyfriend and you didnt think twice about that. i no ur baby is little and vunerable but the more you bubble wrap them the more insecure they will grow up to be. and dont 4get the baby will be copying you soon and if she sees you acting all strangely with your MIL then the baby is going to do the same. i think you need to just sit back a little and relax a little more. shes not harming the baby its just you being over cautious when its really not needed!

Answer 21

Its gross to you but its upto her how she plays with her own grandchild. If it was something important like she was butting in and trying to take over your role as mother then i'd be with you, but its just a game, there are germs everywhere, in the air, on the floor, on her toys, its not harming the baby much more than anything else, and it makes the baby happy, so theres no real harm in it. Just wipe her hands with a baby wipe

Answer 22

You should talk with your partner about this. He will tell his mother in a way that she does not get offended.

There is always a way of saying things, sing don't shout :)

Answer 23

I would be more worried about your mother in law!! you think MOUTHS HAVE BACTERIA? WHERE DO YOU THINK BABIES HANDS GO?? your MILs mouth is probably the cleanest thing it touched, you are misplacing your aggression.



if your MIL smokes the bugs probably dead anyway lol ;). CHILDREN ARE THE ONES THAT BREED DISEASE NOT ADULTS. ever go to a school? damn your sick in a day. i think you dont like your MIL and are being pissy. stop it or your baby will end up neurotic.

Answer 24

i think you are normal to think that!! i would too! i wouldnt be so paranoid if it was my mouth... but anyone elses id have something to say for sure!

Answer 25

i agree with you,i hate it when people (other than me) kiss my babys face...lol i always say ''ooh dont kiss her face she keeps getting these spots and we dont want anything touching her face'' call me weird but i dont want other people germs all over my baby!! you tell your MIL that its your baby your rules..i know i would..xx

Answer 26

it sounds yuk to me too!

hell...got to find a way to stop your mil doing that!!

be firm!!!

Answer 27

its not going to hurt anything and your baby is only a baby for a short while i wouldn't make that big of a fuss about it.

Answer 28

its your baby and you have the choice to decide whether something is good or bad for your baby and if you don't want your mother in law to do it she should realize that its your baby not hers

Answer 29

dude, its OK! lol, she's just playing with the baby. (but since ur concerned with germs, no) when my mother does it, i think its cute cause the baby ends up smiling and happy so, im happy =]

Answer 30

Just hope the kid doesn't remember some day. I think its a little unusual though.

Answer 31

i think your overreacting. i pretend to eat my nephews hands all the time, and would be quite offended if my brother or his girlfriend told me not to. it's harmless.

Answer 32

Tell your mother in law your baby hand is suffering from rashes.If she go on doing that,your baby hand might need surgery.

Answer 33

Gross, if she smokes, definitely not. You would think it would gross her out with baby drool, some people like it, but its just nasty to me.

Answer 34

noo bro that gross

dont let em do that

Answer 35

UGHHH! sounds Gross to me!