CIO or Fussing It Out....?

Question

My son is three months old and during the day is always fighting sleep (taking a nap). Everyone says it's an even trade though b/c he sleeps through the night. Well, my mother in law stopped by my house yesterday during one my sons hissyfits(fighting his oncoming nap) and asked what was wrong with him. I was on the couch watching a movie and he was in his crib in his own room and I told her he was fighting sleep. Well she ran in his room and snatched him right up. She told me she can't stand to hear a baby cry no matter what....Well first of all he was just being fussy and would have fallen right to sleep in a few minutes if she would have just left him alone. I just got up and went to the bathroom before I ended up saying something rude! But my question is: Do you all feel there is a difference in 'fussing it out' and 'crying it out'...I believe there is..obviously my MIL doesn't...Just curious as what everyone else thinks...

Answer 1

BIG DIFFERENCE CHICKA!...we let him fuss a bit and he goes right to sleep....we have NEVER made him cry for hours CIO......

Answer 2

I don't believe in crying it out at all. in my opinion if a baby is cry then something is wrong. if they are just whining and lets out a whimper a little before failling a sleep then that is fine. My daughter was doing the same thing and i figured out that i wasn't feeding her enough. i can't feed my daughter more then 4 oz. at a time because she has reflux but when she would cry 2 hours after eating i would think there was no way she was hungry again but she was. now she goes down without a fuss. another thing is if your baby sleeps through the night then they are going to eat more frequently during the day to make up for what they missed.

Answer 3

YOU are the mom, not your mother-in-law! If mine had even tried to do that, she would have gotten a talking to and might have found herself on the other side of the front door!



There is a huge difference between crying and fussing. As the mom, you know your baby best and know when your son needs attention.

Answer 4

I think there is a huge difference between crying and fussing. Mine will do the fussing thing too...tired sounding whines that turns into the little moans he does to get to sleep. If I were to go in and hold him, he'd fight it even more and end up miserable! Your MIL needs to back off and show a little respect for you!!!

Answer 5

oh ya my girl does the same thing during naps, if she's fussing i leave her alone but if it's an all out high pitched yell i'll get her up. even sometimes if it's a loud cry i leave her alone for no longer than a minute to see if she'll start to fuss herself to sleep but if she continues to cry i'll get her up. sometimes she's just so overtired she can't get to sleep so i'll pick her up play with her for a minute get her calm and then she'll fuss for a minute and go to sleep. and MIL's don't know everything. everyone raises their children different

Answer 6

Some babies just need to fuss themselves to sleep, thats how they fall asleep. My son will cry himself to sleep if he is being held but just fuss a bit if he's in his crib. You're MIL is not the final word and don't let her get to you. My MIL is great but boy do our parenting ways differ! I just try to humor her, let her get the baby to sleep on her own and when she's had enough, do it my way. And my way is always right. Its your baby, you are with him everyday and you know what he's like. So in the end, yes, there is a different. Mothers and MILs turn into monsters after they have grandchildren because their children do things differently then they do and most, especially mine, seem to feel us doing it differently is telling them they weren't perfect. I'ld be a millionaire if I got a $1 for everytime I've listened to "well, thats not the way I did it and you guys turned out fine/lived".

Answer 7

I do not allow a baby to cry. But light fussing is different. Sometimes (especially when fighting sleep) baby needs to do that for themselves to fall alseep. My son fusses for a second then falls asleep. But some take longer. As long as mommy knows that he is just fighting sleep, it's okay. But make sure that is what it is :) Good job. But I love MIL too for being there with you. Let Grandmas do what they feel. I think it's cute.

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with what you do as a parent. My son is 4 weeks old and does the same thing when he is over tired. I let him fuss it out, which only lasts about five minutes or so. I would have been so mad if my MIL did that. I would make it clear to her that you will not tolerate her interfering with your parenting, or she isn't allowed to come over.

Answer 9

There is a difference in fussing & crying... As someone else said, if it is just whimpers and grunts, an occasional second long cry, then it's not the same thing in my eyes. Crying is crying. Babies will fuss, it often helps them go to sleep. I do not agree with CIO method myself, but I will let my daughter fuss. As long as I knew she was just fine in every other way, just fighting sleep, I'd let her. Grandmothers often 'spoil' (I use that term loosely since you can't really spoil an infant!) babes.

Good luck!

Answer 10

First of all, your MIL or anyone else has no right to undermine your decisions or interrupt the routine you are trying to regulate. Saying something (depending upon what) would probably not have been rude.



Secondly, yes there is a difference between fussing and screaming. As his mother, you know best where to draw the line with your baby. If his needs have been met and he is dry, warm, etc then I say let him work it out. You are the one who has to live with the routines you create together. Babies cry. If you can't learn to tune it out every once in while you'll go mad.

Answer 11

yep, there is a major difference!!!



my almost 6 month old likes to fight off his naps too. i know he is tired, but he just gets fussy, rubs his eyes ect. but will not settle down for a nap.

so sometimes i lay him in bed and turn his mobile on. he'll fuss for a minute or 2 and fall alseep.



that is not crying it out.

Answer 12

I would definetely just let him fuss it out...there's nothing wrong with letting them cry a little bit if everything is okay. All he's crying about anyways is the fact that he can't get his way and stand up. After all your his mom not her.

Answer 13

My son definitely fusses himself to sleep. At first I would run and soothe him, but then I learned it's just part of sleeping habits. He will almost always fuss/whine/talk himself to sleep.

Answer 14

if he is just kind of grunting and moving around and trying to get comfy and fussing just a bit that is fine. If he is crying hard and upset then you should go get him.

Answer 15

3 months old cry out of necessity for something. Maybe he was uncomfortable, wet, or hungry. As a mom you'll start to know which is which and then trust your instincts. Don't let your 3 month old cry for long periods, it wrecks their very fragile sense of trust and safety.