Feeling like a breastfeeding failure..help?

Question

My baby is 3 weeks old and was born early. She didn't ever latch very well and even now she isn't consistent with her sucking. I am about to give up, but feel just awful if I do. I have really low milk supply and can't seem to get it to build up. I pump and all I get is 10 to 15 ml on each side. I am frustrated and agravated and wonder why is it so easy for some people? What am I doing wrong and how can I fix it?

Answer 1

You may want to contact a lactation consultant or your local La Leche League. They can give you the best advice. Good Luck

Answer 2

I know exactly how you feel! I saw a lactation consultant (a lot of time insurance will cover it, or sometimes you can see one for a reduced fee at the hospital where you delivered) and she helped tremendously. La Leche League is free and they are supposed to be great as well. My LC told me that babies born early can be lazy at the breast. Try to keep your baby eating and not let her doze off. Tickle her feet, take her clothes off so she isn't so warm and comfy, reposition her, etc. I had to pump after every feeding for quite awhile. I also took Reglan (prescription) and Mother's Love More Milk Special Blend (over-the-counter). Those supplements helped A LOT! There is also a supplemental nurser that gives the baby more milk as she nurses. It encourages her to eat without giving her a bottle.

I was so frustrated but wanted so badly to breastfeed. If I thought about keeping it up for a year, it was so daunting, that I would tell myself "I'm going to breastfeed for one more week." Now it's been over 5 months and my son and I are both great at it!

No one tells you how hard breastfeeding can be. You don't know what you are doing and neither does your baby! It took about 6 weeks before I felt like we really had the hang of it.

Try to keep at it, if it is important to you. I promise, it does get easier! If you decide not to continue, don't beat yourself up. Three weeks of breastfeeding is still great. But if you do keep trying, I really think in a few more weeks you will look back and see how far you've come.

GOOD LUCK and CONGRATS!

Answer 3

First, you are not a failure. You're obviously trying very hard.



Definitely contact a La Leche League leader in your area or go to a meeting asap. They should be able to give you immediate tips and tricks to set you and your daughter on the right course. I also recommend posting a detailed description of your problem on the forum on www.kellymom.com. There are some incredibly helpful moderators who can give you some advice right away. Check out the newborn section of the forum.



I'm wondering if you're pumping between feeds and considering your milk supply as low because of what you're pumping then. If so, between feed pumps won't give you an accurate measure of your supply.



It's totally worth trying to make this work! The first weeks are hard, but the benefits to your baby are enormous.

Answer 4

My first piece of advice is that if you haven't worked with a lactation consultant do that now. She will hopefully be able to help you out.



My twins weren't early, but they didn't latch well either. It was frustrating but I ended up pumping for 10 full months. THey got about half of their nutrition from breast milk and half from formula. I didn't particularly like doing that....but it was the best thing for my family.



Here is the reality....you aren't a failure; not by a long shot. You are doing what you can but sometimes it just doesn't work. Yes, breast milk is best....but I've known plenty of babies who have gotten all or some of their feedings in the form of formula who are perfectly happy and healthy children.



Do what is best for you, your baby and your family. Supplement with formula while you work to get your supply up and while she learns to latch better.

Answer 5

PLEASE please please contact a lactaction consultant. If you don't know where to find one, contact the hospital and they can get you in touch with one (usually on staff at most hospitals). I prepared as much as possible, read every book on earth, and assumed breastfeeding would come perfectly naturally to me and my baby. WRONG! It was so hard at first! It took two weeks WITH the lactation consultant to get it down, and then another couple of weeks before I would call it "easy." It was the best thing I ever did. We are conditioned in our society to think that if we try breastfeeding and it's hard, that "it's just not working for me," and immediately switch to formula. If our mothers would have thought that a couple of hundred years ago, none of us would have made it! There are some rare, RARE, conditions when women do not produce enough milk, but this is not what is going on for the vast majority of women trying to breastfeed. Most women think that their babies are not getting enough milk, especially at first, and especially when they don't get a lot of milk out by pumping. Keep in mind that your body produces different amounts and types of milk depending on the time of day and how much baby is sucking. No pump is as efficient as a baby's mouth, once he or she is taught how to latch on well. Again, it often takes a lactation consultant to help with this process early on. If it's the cost that is stopping you, think again. An appointment with the lactation consultant might cost almost 100 dollars, but sometimes it's free from your hospital. If it works, you just saved at least 100$ per month for the next year for not having to buy formula. If it doesn't improve, consider it one more month of formula cost. Good luck to you and please don't feel like you are alone. It was hard for most of us at first!

Answer 6

Have you tried using a nipple shield. I used it for 4 1/2 mos with my first son and am using it again for my second boy who is 3mos old. You can get it at Babies R Us and it's only like 5 or 6 bucks. Try visiting your lactation consultant she may be able to give you more advice.



Also, babies at this age usually only take maybe 2oz, and typically the baby is able to nurse about an oz more out of you than a pump can. I hope it gets better, hang in there!

Answer 7

My advice would be to go to a LC. They will be your best bet. For some mothers and babies the whole breastfeeding thing just comes natural for both and it works will little to no effort required. I was lucky that way. Unfortunantly it isn't that easy for some babies especially those born early. YOU are NOT a failure, sounds like you are trying hard. Call a LC before giving up because I bet after seeing one you and baby will be on the right path and all will be well! Good luck!

Answer 8

Contact a lactation consultant or make a special doctors appt. Just to let you know- hang in there! I was convinced that me and my son would NEVER get this breast feeding thing down and within about 4-6 weeks- it was as easy as pie. Don't give up! I doubt it is easy for anyone! They do not remember how hard it really was- my frustration is still fresh in my mind!

Answer 9

What you pump isn't an indication of your milk supply.



To learn more about how to tell without pumping see (wet & poopy diapers, gaining weight) http://www.drjacknewman.com/pdfs/Enough-2008.pdf



Also, for increasing breastmilk intake see http://www.drjacknewman.com/help/Protocol%20to%20Increase%20Breastmilk%20Intake.asp



To avoid "failure" see an IBCLC immediately. You can find one here http://www.ilca.org/falc.html You'll invest way less time and money working with a LC than you would on formula and you will feel like a success rather than a "failure".



Good luck!

Answer 10

I tried to breastfeed too but couldnt produce milk either. I felt like the worst mom in the whole entire world when I switched her to formula. But you know what it was the best thing I could do for her. She was a happier baby and we had a much better relationship for it! Dont worry about what anybody else thinks. Go with your mommy instincts and what works best for you guys! I know that is hard to trust sometimes but I waited 6 weeks to listen to mine. I wish I would have earlier. Congrats on your daughter! You are going to be a great mommy!

Answer 11

Definitely speak to a consultant.



And don't ever assume you have low milk just because you can't pump much. I never pumped more than half an ounce at a time ever - but I exclusively breastfed my daughter for 6 months. Babies are far more efficient than pumps are.

Answer 12

have u tried different nursing positions? i couldnt bf either and was really upset til a nurse showed me the "football" hold worked like a charm. see a lactation consultant like others said or if u r comfortable enough ask a good friend who bf. mommies are sooo willing to help other mommies. either way the fact that u r concerned shows u r not an awful mom! good luck

Answer 13

Hey! I just wanted to tell you..you are awesome for bfing and it is NOT easy...whoever said it was..must not have been a bfing mom.

I have been bfing for 8 months now, and hun I have been through it all..breast infections, engorgment, oversupply, low supply, overactive let down, no let down, biting, nursing strikes, sore nipples...ugh..the list goes on...but if you ARE DETERMIND, you CAN do this.



First, you can start by calling someone from la leche league..just go to their site, go to the area you live in, and call a LC.. FOR FREE.



They, will probably suggest a nipple sheild..to help your baby latch..(sold for a couple of bucks, at walmart, target, kmart..etc etc)

And for supply, you can call your ob/gyn and get a prescription of Reglan over the phone sent to your local pharmacy (it helps increase milk production)



In the meantime, for latch...it something that you CAN fix now..the more she gets it right..and the more you work on it..she will get it.



Tips for a good latch:

http://hubpages.com/hub/Breastfeeding-The-Importance-of-a-Good-Latch

http://allnurses.com/nursing-blogs/some-quick-tips-370851.html



And here is a video on it by Dr. Jack Newman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wj9tLgYn-bA



You can do it mama!! Just have faith in yourself!!

Answer 14

You are doing nothing wrong sometimes it is really hard, my advice to you was be as calm as you can with the baby and another thing to do is to feed the baby not on your breast but by bottle until you think they are content so they are full but not too full they could still eat a little bit more, so then after that put the baby on your breast so the baby is not frustrated or anything and it should be a little easier.

Answer 15

I had alot of trouble breast feeding 2. i breast fed for about a week and then formula fed. its better to formula feed and be less stressed out rather than be all stressed out about breast feeding. your baby can sense when you are stressed and react to it in a negative way.

just relax and bottle feed, if she get any breast milk at all it will help her, colostrum is the most important part.