Should I feel guilty for not breast feeding? PLEASE BE NICE.?

Question

I tried for a week and the baby wasn't feeding properly. I had no luck with the breast pump as my nipples were sore and bleeding. I fed her some bottle milk and suddenly I had a happy baby but now the baby has a cold and I feel guilty, guilty, GUILTY. She is only 3 weeks old.

Answer 1

No. I tried to pump and did not get enough milk, my breasts became infected, and the pain of that was worse than the actual birth of my children. Some women just can't. She does not have a cold from the formula. Do what works for your family. (However, take her to the doctor if you feel you should. My daughter had a runny nose that turned out to be RSV)

Answer 2

Don't feel guilty babe, if it wasn't for you then theres no point stressing about it. Baby needs a happy mummy, with sore nipples this is not possible. I breast fed my baby for 3 weeks, it was so hard, she was hungry and crying all the time and I was so sore, so I gave in and gave her a bottle....she was so much happier and so was I. I did feel guilty at first, but know shes 8 months old and very healthy, we have such a great bond (so don't worry about that either) and I wouldn't of changed my decision if I could go back now. So please don't worry, do whatever makes baby happy and you will be happy too. I know some people will tell you 'breast is best', but a depressed mum with sore nipples and a screaming baby is no good for anyone, so good luck babe, hope this helps! x

Answer 3

Certainly don't feel guilty, although I understand you feeling this way. My baby was very demanding and I gradually changed to baby formula at 5 months as I believed I couldn't provide enough, and I felt bad about that too. I think you should be feeding your baby proper baby formula from your pharmacy (drug store) or supermarket though. If you really want to you may possibly be able to restart breast-feeding when you feel better. I'm sure the closeness you feel when you feed your baby (bottle or not) is what really matters. Don't worry about what others may think - You must look after yourself too. When I was pregnant a doctor told me not to listen to anyone else - People that were giving negative comments were simply jealous. All babies and children get colds, etc. It is just part of the course for building up immunity. Ps. Lanolin is supposed to be good for sore nipples. Good luck!

Answer 4

I was unable to breastfeed my son also. I had horrible guilt. My mother was a La Leche League Leader for 13 years and I just felt like I was the worst mother in the world for not breastfeeding. I can tell you though to not feel guilty. SOME PEOPLE JUST CANT DO IT.. and there is nothing in the world wrong with that. My problem was that I just wasnt producing enough milk and my son wasnt latching on properly. Don't get discouraged if you think you can try again by all means try again but if it doesnt work then it just wasnt meant to be. And dont think because you didnt breastfeed with this child that it means you won't be able to do it with the next child. Each child is different and the next one may do great. Bottle feeding isn't as bad as some people make it out to be.. JUST EXPENSIVE :)

Answer 5

Guilt is a part of being a parent. You will feel guilty over everything! Don't feel guilty. You said yourself, you now have a happy baby. I doubt she has a cold from the change. If you want to go ahead with breastfeeding see a lactation consultant. If you are ok as is, then continue with the bottle. At only 3 weeks old, you will be feeling like the walking dead, and everything seems worse than it actually is. Take your time, relax (I know it is easier said than done) and go with your gut instinct.

Answer 6

Honestly based on my personal experience I would try giving breastfeeding some more time. I gave it up after 5 weeks and still feel bad that I did not give it more time. I learned later that it usually gets better after about 6 weeks and much better after 2 months.



I am not saying you should feel guilty, but for me personally, I still regret not giving it more of a chance.



I wish I had listened to my "guilty feelings" at the time and given it more time.



But if you do decide to continue with formula well, don't live in the past, make up your mind and move on.



Good luck with your decision.

Answer 7

The question isn't 'should you feel guilty.' The question is 'Do you feel guilty.' And if you do, then look at your options. Can you try breastfeeding again? (Call a good lactation consultant to help you.) If that isn't an option for you, recognize that guilt is a normal emotion and not something bad to be avoided at all costs. If you can't change things, accept that you made the best choice you could at the time, accept your feelings and move on. That's all you can do.

Answer 8

do NOT feel guilty,,,not every mother nor every baby can breastfeed. i tried breastfeeding my twins and made it 3 weeks (i ran out overnight). i knew my babies were NOT getting enough milk and put them on formula. the nurses made me feel like dirt and had me in tears for so much as calling me a bad mother because i was switching to formula. do what is best for YOU and YOUR baby and do NOT look back. it is a personal decision and only you can make it.

as for the sickness thing, "tis the season" with fall many things can cause the sniffles. it may have nothing to do with you breast or bottle feeding. my children had 3 weeks of breastmilk and are pretty much healthy, we have no known allergies, no chronic diseases, they are intelligent normal children, with NO sign of ever being overweight. i have a neice and nephew that were exclusively breastfed for over a year and they both are chronically sick with colds, sinus infections, sore throat, and one has a "death" allergy to peanuts. there is research for the pros/cons of both, but in my experience i think alot of it is "luck of the draw".

do NOT let anyone make you feel guilty and especially yourself. trust me i have been there done that and it was horrible. but if you have a happier baby, you are happier and more relaxed all will be well. a fussy baby and a stressed out mom are a bad combo. do what is best for you and your baby whatever that might be and be confident in your choice, you are the mom,,,and you "just know" ,,,its a "mom thing"

Answer 9

Don't feel guilty... you do what you have to do! As long as baby is happy and fed, you're doing the right thing.

It's a daily struggle to do right by your child, and everyone has their own opinion. You need to live your truth and do what you know is right for your family.

I had a bowel obstruction shortly following my daughter's birth and I couldn't hold her to feed her, plus my milk supply dropped like a rock! She ended up needing some formula and it really ate me up inside. As she got older, I continued to try to breastfeed, but when she had only gained 5 pounds in 6 months, I gave up... she was diagnosed as "failure to thrive". I switched her to formula at 6 months and she's now up to 18 pounds at a little over 9 months.

Don't feel guilty, feel good that you are doing what you need to do.

Answer 10

no! never feel guilty when you are in pain girl! i breastfeed through the pain and i was cracked for months- it was too much alot of the time- on the antibodies- my lactation consultant said even if you only breastfeed for a week you have shielded your baby from so many diseases that your baby is better off than never getting breastmilk. the 1st week is the most important due to colostrum (liquid gold) in reality you have to do what is best for you and your child- and i think you have done alot for her! if you have any milk left and you still feel guilty then maybe let her latch for awhile, it might give you peace of mind.

Answer 11

No, it's ok.



I went through something very similar, I had some complications during his birth and wasn't feeling well, they gave him bottles the first few days and then I had a lot of trouble trying to breastfeed and had to give up. Felt VERY guilty, cried a lot.



Now it's 12 years later and he's perfectly healthy and no worse for the wear. I feel silly that I ever let it get me that upset.

Answer 12

NO, you should not feel guilty! I would rather have a baby with a cold than a baby starving to death. That being said, ask your OB/GYN's office about a breast feeding nurse instructor. She may be able to help you. You may also want to inquire about nipple shields. I found them most helpful with my first child who was also a difficult feeder.

Answer 13

As soon as she is healthy again, try to breast feed again. No need to feel guilty. Just take her to her doctor regularly and then spend lots of time with her. Maybe she just naturally wants bottled milk? You never know until you try.

Answer 14

I breastfed my little boy for 11 months, and now he is 16 months old, and always has ear infections, colds, and frequently gets bronchitis. His ENT has suggested taking his tonsils and adenoids out and putting tubes in his ears, which we will probably be doing in the next few weeks. Basically, all babies get sick, and just because a baby is breastfed, doesn't mean they will be the healthiest in the world. I would do what you feel is best for your baby. And don't worry about her being sick. All babies get sick sometime or another!

Answer 15

You poor poor thing. Try not to be hard on yourself, there is nothing worse than a little one when they are sick.

Remember you are still in a very emotional state after having a baby just 3wks ago, let alone the breastfeeding guilt and the worries of a sick bubba.

You do the best you can as a mum - and you are doing the best you can.

Take a deep breath and repeat after me - I love my little girl and she loves me, I'm a good mum!

Answer 16

This is a personal decision that each mother has to make for herself. You did what you had to do to make your baby happy. She is better off being happy instead of being hungry and having a stressed out mother all the time. There will always be people that make you feel guilty about it - but do you honestly think those people do EVERYTHING "perfectly" for their children? Don't let judgemental people get you down. You do your personal best and your baby will be fine.

Answer 17

Your baby did not get a cold from the bottle milk, most likely. Many people choose to use formula because the baby sleeps better on formula, and then there is no weening to the bottle. You should feel no guilt as the baby is getting better health from properly bottle-feeding than improperly breast-feeding.

The cause of your baby"s cold WAS NOT the bottle.

Answer 18

NO don't feel guilty it happens all the time myself included you did GREAT with the week that you did your baby got the best stuff and that would of been a great help.



Dont beat yourself up over it hun

Answer 19

i did no longer breast feed my daughter and that i do no longer plan on breast feeding my son that i'll be having quickly. My mom had a infant while i became seventeen and that i watched her breast feed my brother and that i purely knew it became something i might by no skill want to in my opinion do. It purely looked want to me that breastfeeding became inconvenient each now and then the baby may well be hungry in public and he or she might might desire to discover a gap to breast feed and that i'm to non-public of a guy or woman to try this. additionally if she became utilising or something and the baby became hungry and crying she might might desire to offer up and feed him, the place as i bottle fed my daughter so i will hand her a bottle any the place and shop doing in spite of i became doing. additionally she became in many situations the sole guy or woman who might desire to feed him so my father could no longer be a factor of feeding his son. My husband has consistently been waiting to help feed my daughter and he would be waiting to help feed my son. additionally yet another element that in the time of contact me approximately breastfeeding became that in the time of many situations my mothers breast might leak or replace into finished and he or she might might desire to pump or feed him right this moment. i think of breastfeeding is great for babies yet for me i think of it would purely be to uncomfortable. toddlers are in many situations fit in the event that they're breast fed, yet i bottle fed and my daughter has consistently been very healthy.

Answer 20

No, you should never feel guilty. Do not let anyone else's opinions get to you. It's your body, your baby, your circumstances, etc.



Of course, it's semi-pointless to ask this question in this forum. From what I've seen, most people who answer these questions are breast-feeding fanatics and personally believe any woman who doesn't breastfeed their kid should be put up for child abuse.



And don't worry -- babies get colds. Yes, even breastfed ones. They will get colds throughout their first year. They will get colds from being around people (sick or not). It's just their immune system gearing up.



You're a good mom, please don't doubt yourself.

Answer 21

There's no need to feel guilty, giving her bottled milk has nothing to do with catching a cold, it is a separate issue

Answer 22

Sore, cracked and bloody nipples are part of breast feeding. You just have to keep lanolin on them at all times.

Answer 23

i was the same keep tryin to express thats wat i did for 6month and try to stand in the sun with ur nipples out for couple of mins each day to help heal them

Answer 24

TOO EARLY TO FEEL GUILTY...YOU CAN STILL TRY...PLEASE DO THAT FOR ATLEAST 3 MONTHS...KEEP TRYING....