Before you experienced giving birth yourself, were you naive about how much it would hurt?

Question

I know that no one can predict what it will be like before they experience it.
I feel a bit annoyed with myself now at how naive and almost arrogant I was regarding labour.
I thought that it was all about mind over matter and the 'screamers' in the labour ward were drama queens who had a low threshold for pain. Well I certainly learnt my lesson as I was the worst screamer there the day I gave birth to my son! He was big for me though at 9lbs and I had a quick labour so no time for pain relief. I ended up with a 3rd degree tear!! Ouch! In fact I was wrong about everything regarding labour and caring for a baby.
What about you? did you have different ideas about childbirth and caring for a newborn or did you go into the whole experience with open eyes?

Answer 1

Totally! Ha ha yeah I thought screaming was just for drama queens too... I was in so much pain and I was sucking down the gas&air. I could hear all this screaming going on and I was thinking just SHUT UP, then I realised it was actually coming from me! That was a really wierd moment. My baby's head was 38cm so no wonder it hurt!

We chickened out of the antenatal class and went and bought a house that day instead, so I kind of just learned as I went. Its worked out ok though. My 2nd has been easier all round though

Answer 2

No I found labour to be as pain free as I was expecting. In fact with my second my worst fear from before I had my first gave through -I was in labour and didn't even realize it. I was starting to get vaguely worried that my water had broken and I wasn't having contractions when I realized that my waters were gushing every 7 minutes.... which was of course caused by contractions.



The birth part was less painful than I was expecting, the ring of fire wasn't a big deal for me and I had such a fear of it.



I'm not putting down moms that do have pain, but its simply not my experience and I had a very long labour with my first (2 days prodomal about 30 hours "real" -and the prodromal felt exactly like real labour, that freaked me out the midwife kept saying I'd know when I was in real labour because it would be more intense). And I had a fast labour -water broke at 3am baby born by 11:20am



I transferred to the hospital with my first because the baby stopped moving and the midwife couldn't make it (she'd had emergency surgery). The hospital was a lot better than I expected, the intern respected homebirth found all the forms she knew I would want (waiving all the dumbass crap). The OB was good when she got there -the nurse was a ***** but still not as bad as I expected. Then there was some minor meconium staining and a neonatologist had to get involved. Then the hospital was worse than my worse nightmare. Just to give a few highlights: lied to about the APGARS (they were 9 and 10, I was told 3 and 4). Baby given an IV without consent, and x-rays. Too much of the wrong glucose was given and his kidneys shut down. which required drugs and constant blood sugar monitoring. CPS called *after* they knew they had screwed up to threaten me. Nurses threatening me, and harassing me (one said that I could leave a loaded gun on the coffee table and be a better parent than if I had a home birth). They wouldn't give me a key pass for the ward until the weekend shift came one (who were not against homebirth and were nice)



CPS was good, they only agreed to come because the doc called 10 times in 1 day and knew it was all BS.

Answer 3

The contractions were excruciating. I gave birth in a hospital. Went up there when I was 7cm dilated. I had a fantastic experience though. Went through the public system here in Australia (health system very different to the US). Was in a huge, huge birthing suite which had an enormous bath. Had the option of having a water birth. Also had birthing balls etc. Every decision was up to me, I was in complete control but had the midwives. and later on, the Obstetrician, supporting & guiding me. I was going to have a natural birth but ended up having the gas and then pethidine, which I now regret. Actually giving birth was not that painful but the contractions were horrendous. I had deep stomach pain which radiated down to my back and my thighs. Got to the point where I could not walk. I have forgotten much of the pain. I didn't have any tears or complications. Went home the next day and recovered fully in two weeks. I find epilating much, much more painful. I still can't epilate my legs.

Answer 4

It hurt like I could never have imagined, but at no point did I scream. I used enotonox, which just spaced me out. I also had an epidural at around 8cm, which took away the pain at the front (I barely noticed this), but did nothing for the horrendous pain at the back, I had back labour.



I asked my mum afterwards if I was really noisy, you can't really tell at the time, and she said she was really impressed with me, lol. Rather than screaming I think I was just exhausted as it was an induction, so I barely had a break in between contractions, so no energy to scream, haha.



It's weird how everyone's body reacts differently in labour.

Answer 5

Actually I felt the opposite. I was prepared for the worst pain as possible but I found that labor was not as bad as people hype it up to be. And I did it all natural with no pain medication as well, which was my birth plan. I found that mind over matter did work. There is a HUGE mind/body correlation. I did not scream once. I have a high tolerance for pain though and I get really bad cramps when I have my period. I think I was just used to that kind of pain (back labor pain & pain in my uterus from contractions). My labor was 8.5 hours long so it wasnt short and it wasnt long. It was just an amazing feeling. You did have a big baby though. That could be why it was so painful.

Answer 6

Oh, gosh yes! I wanted to go natural, and I did make it 10 hours and to 9 cm dilated, but it just got so bad I thought I was going to die. I knew, there was NO WAY I was going to make it without pain medication. And thank goodness they agreed to giving me an epidural even though I was already 9 cm. I was lucky. After that, labour was a pleasure!



As for having a newborn, I was also shocked at how emotional I would be at the beginning and how much the baby cried. Also how many hours I would spend on the couch just breastfeeding. The first 2 weeks of his life I pretty much lived on the couch - he would eat every 1.5 to 2 hours and would eat for 45 minutes at a time!



I think the first 3 weeks were hell. Weeks 4 to 7 were okay, and starting at about 8 weeks it became fun. Now at 3 months I am in total bliss!

Answer 7

Oh yes I totally underestimated the pain and I was also the top screamer of the hospital! In fact having my second son was actually a lot worse than my first (and I had a mid-cavity forceps delivery with him). My epidural didn't work either time and so I ended up with no pain relief (gas and air was useless) and I screamed for about 6 hours solid and I actually did think I was going to die, the pain was horrendous and it felt like I was going to split in two!!



I will never ever do it again, in fact I am sending my man for the snip asap!

Answer 8

Absolutely. No one can prepare you for child birth or being a mother. Its something you have to live through yourself. I never expected that being a mother would be this difficult, I love it so much, but its tough. I look at my mom now with so much pride for what she has done. The child birth part, I was scared for, but had no idea what I was in for, my first son was 19 hours of hard hard labor, with a epidural that didn't take by the time I started pushing, I was also a screamer. My second son was a different story, MUCH easier, if you haven't had two kids yet.

Answer 9

Oh yes, I was arrogant as hell about the birthing process. I

too saw the screamers as melodramatic (mainly because my mother and fiance told me they were to make me feel better!) and I believed that I would be able to follow my birth plan to a tee!



I intended to have a waterbirth and failing that an epidural. Neither were avialble (birthing pool was booked and I dilated too quick for an epidural) so I ended up filling a bath with water and laying in there. I really hadn't given much thought to the pain, a lot of women told me that it is overblown but for me it was excruciating!



This time round I am going to buy a Tens machine and not expect anything to go the way I expect it to.

Answer 10

I was very naive about labor pain. I had a 25 hour labor with no pain meds. I assumed it would hurt more than anything. But didn't think anything could hurt that bad!!! It was the worst ever. Lucky me I didn't tear! She was an average 7lbs 7oz. And I thought caring for a newborn would be tiring but easy. I thought it would get harder the older they got. Boy was I wrong. The first 2 months were honestly the worst of my life. And then all of a sudden it got extremely easy and fun!



My labor was with lots of pit as I was induced. And I would call it a dying pain. I never screamed, but I complained a lot, and frequently told everyone I thought I was having a heart attack and brain anurism(sp?)

Answer 11

I thought exactly the same, that it would be ok, but bloody hell was I wrong, I was in labour for 3 whole long days and my god the pain, I was screaming out saying I was gonna die and crying saying I cant do it any more. I got stitches as well even though he was only 5lbs 6 oz ( he was only 3 days early )but al that pain is worth it as soon as i held my son and i wouldn't think twice about doing it all over again maybe not for so long though lol

Answer 12

Umm yeah alittle. I was pretty calm and taking it for most of my 22 hr labor. What I really didn't expect was the INSANE back labor (which I kinda predicted I would have before giving birth) but I had no idea it was like that. I didn't scream,cry or cuss my husband or anyone out at all. Another thing that I was unexpected about was having an emergency c section and Feeling every bit of my surgery except for the last few Min's of it. I felt them cut me open. move my insides around, The pressure they say you have when pulling the baby out. WAS NOT pressure at all. It was shear agony. Course when they finally did I felt really empty lol. Being so plum out of it when they let me see him for a quick second bc the anesthesiologists had to pump me full of drugs 2x during the last part of the whole thing. I hate not being able to move around for the whole next day almost and getting my NB. OMG worst part about coming home was having to have a BM 3 days after my surgery and I cried hysterically during the whole thing. Next time around I want to try for a VBAC

Answer 13

I knew it would hurt, but it was a completely different pain to what I was expecting, the intensity of the contractions shocked me. Luckily I was able to have pain relief and had G&A and Pethadine, after they kicked in I didn't feel a thing (I am extremely sensitive to medication) I was completely out of it!!!



In every other way I guess I was kind of naive! But then there were things when I was pregnant that I didnt think i'd be able to do when my baby was born, like how much milk/sleep/nappy changes she would need, but the maternal instinct kicked in and I was alot better than I thought i'd be!



:O)

Answer 14

I actually overestimated the pain of labor. With pitocin both times I was able to fore-go the epidural. I underestimated the exhaustion of pushing big time though. And the overwhelming exhaustion of having a newborn too. And it's funny, my kids are only 2 years apart and I still forgot to a degree how tiring it is to have a new one around keeping you up and busy so much!

Answer 15

I was young and to be honest no one really scared me with horror stories so I wasn't scared...which I think goes a long way as to how you deal with the pain.

I also worked with racehorses and am pretty good with pain having hit the deck regular , been bitten, kicked, had my head smashed against some guttering (hat on thank god :P).....AND a month before I had my first baby I got a stress fracture on my leg (long story) and THAT pain kept me awake crying! So when I went into labour I kept waiting for it to get that bad ..and it never did.

So I was naive...but I think it helped in my case :) x

Answer 16

i was very naive, and actually beleived everyone when they said 'it doent hurt that much' it does hurt that much! much much more! and the length of it all just wears you down especially when the contractions get really bad towards the end,the pushing part wasnt that bad it was those contractions that got me, absolutely excruciating and my first thought after i gave birth was, never again, and i was so angry at everyone who told me it wouldnt be that bad, but when they gave me my baby and i felt that instant bond i wanted to do it again straight away, strange how these things affect us, i gave birth 9 weeks ago and i still get the shivers when i remember the pain lol, as far as caring for a newborn i thought it would be a lot harder than it really is, i just had to get my head round the no sleep thing but im used to it now and my baby is really good doesnt cry that much.

Answer 17

I kinda went into it blindly too. I had always heard that your insides would feel like they were on fire and everything, and I heard about the 'ring of fire' when the baby's head is crowning. On the other hand, I hadn't ever experienced anything like that, so it's hard to imagine exactly how that must feel. I ended up having a WAY easier labor and delivery than what I expected. I felt very fortunate that it was such a good experience for me.

Answer 18

I was very naive about the amount of pain. Even though I had said I expected the worst pain of my life, I thought I could breathe through it and think positively, etc. It was the worst pain of my life, but still way more painful than I had a concept of when I imagined!

Answer 19

i was the opposite i heard all the horror stories of labours and births of family members and friends and i was terrified to go into labour - turns out if was quick (3hr labour and only 30minutes in hospital before she was born (turned up at hospital 10cm dilated so gave birth right away!) and so manageable with no pain meds- i was shocked how easy it was for me as im a chicken!



although i thought caring for a newborn was easier than it is - it was torture the first 2 months with sleep deprivation!

Answer 20

Definitely, but more than that I didn't expect back labor. I had terrible back labor and was not prepared at all! I also didn't expect pushing to be so hard, I was in very good physical shape and it still took me 4 hours of pushing and they had to use the vacuum to get her out, which gave me a 4th degree tear!

Answer 21

Yep. Not something you can prepare for at all. I made it 13 hours before getting an epi. I was induced and my labor was just shy of 24 hours. My epi quit in the last 3 hours.....horrible pain!



Just a side note: I thought the first two weeks of breastfeeding was way worse than labor.

Answer 22

I actually was the opposite I expected the worst!!!



Now I had time for pain relief and got the epidural, I could not have imagined it without the pain relief!

Answer 23

Before I gave birth to my son...I thought I would die from the pain. When my water broke I just began to shake, because I was scared. My mom said I would be in labor for fifty hours at least. Ha ha...I was in labor for 3 hours and ten pushes later....he came out. A lil 6.5 lb boy and I said, that was it?

However, my second labor was 12 hours and a lot more painful...

Answer 24

I'm 38 weeks with my first child and I'm not really sure what to expect. I've heard good things, I've heard horrible things. My son is about 6 pound, I'm not very big myself. I don't really know what to expect, but I'm going with the whole reverse psychology, haha.

Answer 25

i had contractions and i remember shouting

'oh my god i wan't to go home, i can't do this'

i was pushing but i wasn't ready, my daughter was leaning on my bladder making me think i had to push..

i was in the delivery room for 2 days with an epidural so i was litterally on a bed for 2 days before being told i wasn't dialating and i had to have an emergency c-section.

but in a way i was excited that i was going to see my baby soon.

and staying in that room and hearing all the other women being rushed into rooms and screaming and swearing at the midwifes was quite funny but scary too haha =)

xxx

Answer 26

i thought is was going to be worse than it was actually. i see on tv women screaming and all that and here people's experiences. i didn't scream. it hurt like hell and it was exhausting but not as bad as i expected, i went in at 6 cm with my water brok but was in labor another 19 hours and pushed for one. i tought i was goign to yelling at everyone and tell them how much i hated them lol





i didn't realize how emotional and annoyed i would get after i had him- i wanted to kick my MIL in the face she was so annoying

Answer 27

You can never be sure of what labour is gonna be like. I say expect the worse then it can only get better x

Answer 28

I don't even want to think about it... the idea terrifies me! I think I'm more afraid of giving birth than all the sleepless nights and parenting troubles!

Answer 29

It was bad but I was never screaming or moaning - and that was with a pitocin labor without pain control (incompetent anesthesiologist) for 28 hours. Sure it hurts, but it's not dying pain. Really I was neither unrealistic about how much it would hurt or surprised about how I could handle it, what gets me is how long it takes!

Answer 30

Yep, I watched all those birth shows on TV and thought "It doesn't look that bad" How wrongt was I! lmao

Answer 31

Yes, I was very naive about it. I made it to 1 cm and demanded the epi.



/Yep, wussed out. :)

Answer 32

Oh yeah. I knew it wasn't going to feel good, but OH MY GOODNESS! I had NO idea it was going to hurt as much as it did!!!

Answer 33

Absolutely. You can never be prepared for it.

Answer 34

Can you say epidural?! I ain't trying to impress nobody. Pain is not my friend. Epidural please, thank you!

Answer 35

yes...... it was so bad .. i cried the whole way though haha

Answer 36

Yes, that's why I haven't had any kids!