Please help me! *Sobs* Miserable baby!!!?

Question

I am in serious need of help. My life is so chaotic. I am about to collapse. I have a 20 month old son and a 4 month old daughter. I nursed my son until I my milk diminished due to my 2nd pregnancy. I had no issues. I never had to supplement until my pregnancy.

This time is a whole new ball game. It used to take about 10-15 minutes JUST to latch my daughter. She would unlatch, and it would take another 10-15 minutes to relatch. It was awful. And all this with a toddler is just frustrating.

Now I have no issues with latching, but she doesn't seem to enjoy eating much... and lately it's really bad. She doesn't seem to be getting any hindmilk at all. She is TICKED when my let down is done, and will just scream and scream, even if I express any in her mouth... She wants it all free flowing.

She also will NOT take a bottle. I have tried 2 bottles, and I tried letting daddy try. She would rather starve herself than eat out of a bottle. I have tried breastmilk and formula. She is so small.

At 4 months old she is about 11 pounds. At 2 months old she was 10 pounds. (Born at 5 pounds 14 ounces). She was doing O.K. through my efforts up until recently, and now just O.K. has turned to a nightmare. I need help.

I know there is something wrong with my daughter. She is so fussy. The doctor said colic. She used to sleep ok, but it was just tough to get her to sleep. Now she sleeps GREAT and just about all night... but all day she cries. She will smile, but she quickly cries. It is like she wants to be happy, but she just can't be for some reason. I have asked about acid reflux, but the doc said no more than once.

I have thought maybe she was sensitive to lactose so for the past MONTH I have had no dairy... it's not helping. Maybe she has a milk allergy? I have no idea. I am at my wit's end though. I have no idea if you guys can even help or not.

I can never put her down without her screaming like someone is killing her. SOMETHING IS JUST WRONG. Maybe her stomach isn't right? I don't know. She only poops once like every 10 days as well... and has about 4 wet diapers a day. My doc does not seem concerned.

I don't care what I have to do to get her to plump up some, but I am just concerned. My milk supply is also starting to fail, as she hasn't made my milk let down much lately.

And as I said, I have a VERY CHAOTIC 20 month old son, so a lot of my options are limited too. I cannot just go pump every 2 hours or anything, although I try when I can... my daughter also screams her head of when I put her down.

I don't really know what I am asking. I know she needs to eat more, and I know there is something wrong. I guess what I am asking is maybe if you have any advice??? I've been asking all around, and hearing how normal she is... me and daddy and my inlaws (my family lives 20 hours away and never sees her), all agree that something isn't right. But no one will help me. :(

Thanks in advance.

*I have a doc appt for her on 12/9 and I am am going to demand some kind of solution. I don't just make things up about my kids as I have seen people do. There is something wrong.

Answer 1

Wow, first off, let me just try and offer some sympathy and tell you to not worry so much. Many parents go through the same thing. My daughter has reflux with excessive spitting. In the beginning this cause a LOT of fussiness. The medicine helps a little. You can continue to suggest the possibility of reflux, but from what I'm reading it doesn't really sound like it.



Here is a generic link for you to skin through Common Concerns- Baby & Mom

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/index.html

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mom/index.html



It has info on Reflux, latching (although that has been solved), fussiness, baby not nursing etc...



Be sure to do your research and really look through the above information. Also try to look into a lactation consultant or La Leche League meetings. You should be able to find that information on their website www.llli.org



It's not a bad thing your baby will not take bottles, unless you are going back to work and baby needs to take one. How to bottle feed your breastfed baby.... http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/bottle-feeding.html



I totally understand your frustration. My daughter can be very fussy, and in the beginning I really had a hard time. I cried while she cried in the beginning.



Try out the kellymom.com forums. Those ladies are super nice and helpful!!



I really wish I knew what else to say. You seem so concerned but every baby is so different it's just hard to say for sure what the problem is. I hope your doctor, a consultant, or LLL/kellymom cal help you!!



Remember, this too shall pass :)

Answer 2

In addition to getting some professional nursing help also make sure you are finishing off the breast, even if it takes two times in a row. Baby could be screaming from all of the excess lactose causing a tummy ache since she won't nurse past letdown.



Since she was born small I don't see anything wrong with her weight. My daughter was born 6 lb 15 oz and was only nearly 12.5 pounds at 4 months. Since your daughter was born even smaller, it sounds like she is growing along a curve just fine.



I think the major problem is a gassy belly and mylicon drops will not help that since it is possibly due to the secondary lactose issue from too much foremilk. Note: no baby is lactose intolerant but some will develop secondary issues from too much foremilk that is fixable by making sure to finish off the breast - try offering one side a feeding, two times in a row. (right, right, left, left, etc). Once her belly calms down from this she might decide to start to spend more time at the breast at each feeding.



Here is a link about about fussy babies who want a faster flow too (another possible problem):



Breast compressions:



http://www.kellymom.com/newman/15breast_compression.html



Good luck mommy, you can get past this and continue to nurse!!

Answer 3

I'm sure you'll get lots of great advice, but I would like to add that you should consider seeing another doctor for THIS particular issue if at your next appointment you still don't feel as if you're being heard. My daughter's pediatrician is great, but we weren't happy with the treatment she was receiving (or NOT receiving, which was the problem) by another doctor in his office for her eczema. We straight up just took her to someplace else entirely because we weren't being heard. I don't regret the decision at all, but I still use her regular pediatrician for well-visits. So keep fighting for your daughter until someone is willing to listen enough to try and help. I'd also like to add that it seems as if once every ten days is too infrequent for bowel movements, but I don't know if other people have had similar experiences.

Answer 4

I think that you should make an appointment with a lactation consultant to be seen face to face. You could try using a SNS set up to get more milk into her. I would suggest pumping for 20 minutes every 2 hours and then using a syringe and a feeding tube. Pull the milk out of the bottle with the syringe and attach the syringe onto the feeding tube. Tape the feeding tube onto your breast and when she is nursing off your breast she will also be pulling milk out of the syringe. She will get more milk faster and be happier with the flow. You will know partly how much she is getting with one feeding.

Is your ped. concerned with her weight gain. Here is a growthchart for girls who are breastfeed - it is normal for them to double birthweight and then slow down weight gain around 4-6 months (for a breastfeed baby) http://www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/chts_wfa_girls_z/en/index.html

Answer 5

So your concern is with your 4 month old right? Was she born premature? She seems underweight if she was born at 5 lbs. Usually they are fine as long as they double their weight by 5-6 months.



My son was struggling to put on weight. I originally wanted to only breastfeed but he did not latch on well and we began formula soon after he arrive home. He also had jaundice because he was not feeding well. So we supplemented. I thought the only way to raise is child is with breast milk, but supplementing will not kill him and it takes some pressure off of me. He was gaining between a lb or two every month. However, when feeding formula and breastfeeding it reduces your breast milk and therefore it is important make sure they are getting enough. He was wetting many diapers and pooping regularly but is very active and thin so I had to increase the ounces of formula we gave him. Anyways, he learned to latch on with a nipple shield. It goes over the nipple to help baby latch properly. It could reduce the time and frustration you might be experiencing.



Trying more kinds of bottles that your daughter might like can help. Since my son used the nipple shield for the first few months it was easy for him to take the bottle.



Also, health wise you might be affecting your milk supply. If you can not pump regularly then stress or dehydrating my be reducing your milk supply. Try drinking more water, if you are not already. See taking your 20 month old to a park once in a while might drain his energy and allow you to rest. Or ask if you in-laws can babysit him a few times a week or what is possible. Lastly, try to have some me time. A nice bath or shower with out worrying about the children might help or a date with your husband (+ massage from him) are all ways to reduce stress and increase your milk supply.



Your daughter might be teething. My son first tooth came when he was 5 months so that might be why it takes so long for her to latch. It hurts. There are many teething options from frozen foods like carrots or bananas (if you are comfortable giving her that) to frozen/ chilled teething rings or Oragel. Actual over the counter gels, drops or

tablets to relieve teething pain. Also actual pain reliever as in Tylenol.





Lastly, she might just need something to suck. My son in the morning would suck then release for about 20 mins. I told my doc and she said that he is not hungry but just want something to suck. I thought it was my milk supply also.



This is all information and advice and I am not a professional. If you think that something is wrong and your provider dismisses it again. For the sake of your peace of mind and your child health find another doctor who will run some tests.



I wish you the best of luck.





PS. my son also getting really angry when I set him down or stop feeding even though he ate alot. He is super demanding and cries really loud. But banding a toy or distracting him usually works. If not he stops crying in a few minutes. I know it is hard to do. But I can be holding him forever or over feed him.

Answer 6

Research overactive letdown. It sounds like this may be the problem. Letdown with this can be so forceful that baby has to do NO work so once it stops they just don't know what to do. You can also ask about it at www.llli.org They were a tremendous help to me in getting mine under control. Until then try nursing baby with her lying on top of you. Perhaps if she has to steadily work the entire nursing session she won't fuss so badly.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry. I used to feel very similarly to you, when my baby was 3 months old. She would cry so hard- yes, it was like she wanted to be happy but she was in pain or something. As soon as we got on Nutramigen formula all the pain went away. I am ALL FOR BREASTFEEDING.... but some babies have a hard time with it I am told. Seems unbelievable. My baby would pass painful gas a lot- she also had acid reflux. I don't know what to do if your baby won't drink out of a bottle... I guess just keep up the breastfeeding best you can. I am so sorry, but just know that other moms go thru stuff like this, and it is VERY VERY VERY trying and depressing... but you will get thru it. Lots of love.

Answer 8

The first thing that popped to mind was for you to try a Supplemental Nursing System. This should help your supply and get her to eat at the same time. Here is what I am talking about:



http://www.kellymom.com/newman/05lactation_aid.html



Here is a picture of one:



http://www.selfexpressions.com/supnursys.html



This might help as well:



http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html



I really hope you get this figured out....I feel for you. Good luck.

Answer 9

Your best bet may be to pump and give her a bottle. My son would absolutely NOT take a bottle, I ended up breastfeeding for a very very long time because of it. Thankfully I was a first time mom with no job. Try putting your pinky underneath the nipple so she can suck on both. The breastflow bottles are a good start also. After a few weeks with good weight gain, try her on the breast again...And remember she feels your anxiety too and it may affect your let down and production if you are tense and she's not suckling for a good period of time (two let downs per feeding per breast). Add a scoop of formula to each bottle if you are very concerned about weight gain. If you want her to remain on the breast, you need to supplement with formula or she will not gain weight. I learned the hard way that eating the wrong foods (tomatoes, garlic, spicy food) would make my son horribly fussy just after he ate. At 4 months she may be teething too (my son broke through two teeth at 4 and half months) and nursing may hurt. La Leche league are experts at this if you want to look up the local chapter in your area.

Answer 10

I would stop breastfeeding and go to bottles. The stress isnt worth it and she may not be getting enough. The most important part of breastfeeding is the first few weeks anyway. She will drink from the bottle when she's hungry. I don't think 4 wet diapers is enough per day personally.



It could be reflux or a milk allergy or just colic. Call a pediatric gastroenterologist tomorrow and make an appt - there is usually a long wait. They can help if its reflux. If you have insurance, its just the cost of a copay and worth it in my opinion. You can try soy formula or special formula (Alimentum or something like that) if you think she has a milk allergy. My dr told me to try it and if it didnt make a huge difference, it wasnt worth the extra cost - we went back to soy. After she eats, sit her up in her carseat or swing.



Try mylicon drops for gas. It may just be that.



Try not to get frustrated even though its so hard. Just keep trying different things trial and error. Definitely take her back to the dr. Maybe even another dr for a second opinion. Can't hurt. good luck.

Answer 11

take fenugreek, it increases your supply and is available at gnc for a relatively low price. if you suspect that as a problem. also, have you done all the massages, rubbing her stoamch/back etc to rid her of any gas? what about using a sling so you can have your hands free?

sorry if i wasnt much help, just some ideas,

Answer 12

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Answer 13

i never breastfed but my little girl had the same problems with the no pooing and barley peeing and screaming she actually had an ear infection and was dehydrayted.. have the dr look at her ears and maybe suggest to him that she could be dehydrated.... good luck!!

Answer 14

Gosh... I don't know what to tell you but I'll pray for you and your daughter if that is okay. I hope you find your answer. It sounds like you are in a really tough situation.

Answer 15

PLEASE think about getting qualified nursing help.



Find an 'IBCLC,' an 'international board-certified lactation consultant,' or a La Leche League Leader. http://llli.org/



(Do NOT stop nursing! Terrible advice...)