Moms: do any of you let your baby sleep in your bed? if so, how soon did you start?

Question

I have a strong desire to let my baby sleep in my bed with me because I think he will feel more comforted and warm... but I know about the dangers of SIDS so I do not let him... right now he is only 3 weeks old... Of you mothers who do co-sleeping, how soon did you start? What age was your bady? And what was the experience like?

Answer 1

Everyone kept telling me how important it was to keep my baby in his own bed. And like you i had a strong desire to put him in my bed. Finally, at about 6 weeks i moved him to my bed. I did some research on co-sleeping and realized i wasn't being a bad mom. I bought a snuggle nest co-sleeper

http://www.snugglenest.com/snugglenest/supreme.php

and some safety rails when my son got a little older. Do what you feel is best. Don't let other peoples opinions pressure you into something that doesn't feel right. If your instincts are telling you to co-sleep then go with them.

Answer 2

My older 2 kids dropped their afternoon nap when they were 2. They still had "quiet time" but didn't sleep during that time. My youngest slept through the night when he was a newborn until 6 months old, then he started waking up alot (his isdue to his medical condition and his meds). Now at 10 months old he naps 2x a day most normal days and is starting to sleep through the night again. Every child is different. Some kids nap all the way up to kindergarden and others stop sooner.

Answer 3

Co sleeping prevents sids if you do it correctly. The baby should only sleep next to the mother and still sleep on his back. My baby has been in my bed since he was allowed to sleep with me, and he was only 4.5 lbs at the time. It's such a wonderful cuddly experience, I enjoy it just as much as my baby. Ignore the lady who lets her baby sleep in the boppy, it says on them not to do that. But do consider an Arm's Reach Co Sleeper

Answer 4

you do not have to worry about sids when the baby sleeps by you. they pick up on your breathing patterns and you on theirs. you do have to worry about falling off the bed, being pinned in the bed frame, suffication and being rolled over. with that said, my youngest was in the bed with me from the first night home on. he was sick a lot and had problems breathing when he got congested. one night i woke up with him gasping to breath. he was fine once i gave him his nebulizer. I guess i am saying that there are risks either way you go and you are the only one that knows which way is best for your child. My oldest spent every night in his crib, my youngest spent none. Different children need different things. Whatever you decide just be careful and as attentive as you can be.

Answer 5

I started co-sleeping with my daughter when she was 8 weeks. It was the only way I could get any sleep. I went back to work at 8 weeks so I had to be rested. She is now 4.5 months and we still happily co-sleep. It makes breastfeeding so much easier. Do some research online..it actually reduced SIDS if done correctly/safely. We actually put a queen sized bed next to a full size bed and my husband sleeps in the full size bed right next to us. He is a hard sleeper and doesn't want to squish her.

Answer 6

All of my kids have slept in my bed from the very beginning. There really isnt that much of an increase in the risk of SIDS as long as you do everything right. You need to make sure that your mattress is firm and that you dont have heavy blankets or tassles or anything like that. I got a pillow ( i think its called the family bed pillow) its 3 feets long and it has this attatched part thats sorta like a sheet. You sleep on the sheet part and put the pillow at the edge of the bed, this way there is a barrier so the baby wont fall off and you stabize it with the weight of your own body... worked wonders. Also, put the kids on your side, only mother's have the necessary intuition to wake up when necessary.

When I had my twins co sleeping was such a blessing. I had to do alot of breastfeeding each night so all i had to do was position them and I could fall back asleep. I always woke up when needed and learned to just know when my kids were hungry, craky etc without them needing to cry. And reguardless of what others say, it doesnt spoil the kids, it has made sleep time very very easy and my kids are very secure. My kids still all sleep with me. I keep my youngest more toward the head of the bed and my twins sprawl out near my feet. We are all so happy with the arrangement and it hasnt effected my sex life with my husband at all... we just do it when the kids arent around thats all.

Answer 7

"you'll never get them out of your bed...."



Really??? Hmmm...seems our 11 year old transitioned quite nicely when he was 2.5 years of age- we started when he was 2 and decided he needed more space. He also has autism and did great.



I find people who are most against it, never did it.



Our 20 month old has never spent the night alone. Not even in the hospital.



We had an in-the-bed cosleeper bought for us by my mom- I wouldn't have gotten it myself but someone recommended it and she opted to buy it. We used it for the first 10-12 weeks. Thereafter, she slept on a pillow- head and toes at the long ends of the pillow. She was pulled up next to me.



Put your mattress and your boxspring on the floor and up against the wall. Put baby between you and the wall. OUr baby always sleeps between the wall and me. Now that she is bigger she will wiggle in between which is her favorite place- but she is bigger and I worry a lot less.



I find I am always rested- even when I went back to work when she was 10 weeks old. People commented on how well rested I looked all the time. Middle of the night feeds were easy- just nurse.



I love catching up with her when I have been away- and all the above is true for our son as well.



He was 2 when he began to climb down and sleep on the floor next to the bed. We decided he wanted more room- and put his crib mattress there for him. After 6 months, he was in his bed. Once in awhile he'd come in and was always welcomed to do so.



Our son's therapists think the reason he is doing so well is because of that Attachment parenting- as it is "high touch" and I have to agree. If it is good for autism, imagine what it can be good for!



Best wishes!



Edit:

Kaiden's mom: is the only time you have sex in a bed? Or, in the dark??? Or at night?!????? Please. Once you have children you'd better get more creative than that or your sex life will be in trouble.



Neither one of ours were conceived in a bed. Happily married X14 years.

Answer 8

Our baby has slept with me since we came home. This made breast feeding really easy in the middle of the night. Just be careful of the risks of SIDS. Don't use a bunch of big fluffy comforters or pillows. Don't drink alcohol or use sleeping pills.

Answer 9

At about two weeks I gave up trying to get him to sleep on his own. I literally never slept those weeks, so I needed to take him to bed with me. I too was terrified of SIDS, so he slept on my chest while I slept upright until he was about 3 months old. Then I started letting him lay next to me. But my husband wasn't allowed in bed with us until he was about 9 months old.

Answer 10

Ignore these "you'll regret it" cold-hearted types.



Ignore these judgmental people on Yahoo Answers!

Just because you don't want your baby to sleep in bed with you doesn't mean you're cold-hearted. I have never let my 9 mo old daughter sleep in bed with me. I personally think it's a bad habit to get into. I am also a light sleeper; she was only in my room in a bassinette for a week before I moved her to her own room. It's hard enough to get any sleep when you have a baby and the little sleep you can get, you don't want it to be interrupted by all the noises that babies make while they are sleeping (my daughter is a noisy sleeper!).

There are guidelines for safe co-sleeping though and if you want to do it, just follow them and you'll be fine. Just make sure your husband is on-board with the co-sleeping thing, too.

Answer 11

I did it from day one with 3 of my 4. I sleep so much better when the baby sleeps with me. That way I'm not worried about them sleeping all alone and I'm not able to know if they stopped breathing or smothering in bedding. And besides, if baby is with me, we can just nurse back to sleep without getting out of bed.



As for the whole SIDS thing, the most recent study I've seen says babies are actually safer sleeping with mom. Baby naturally takes on mom's breathing patterns and I think I remember something about heart rhythms too.There are some that say the risk is higher when co-sleeping, but they fail to say that if mom has been smoking, drinking or on drugs, the risk is much higher for mom to roll onto baby.



I have never rolled onto my baby while sleeping.



The way we usually transition our children out of our room is by transferring them to their room after they sleep. It was so easy with my 2nd child I barely remember it.



My "good" baby (my first) who slept through the night at 6 weeks and never slept with me ended up with sleeping problems for years. She started having night terrors at 4 and was forever begging my husband to sleep with us. She still hates to sleep alone and she's 14! She's forever begging her sister to sleep in her room, meanwhile my 9 yr old former co-sleeper sleeps just fine alone. I think it's because she had all those years of security so she's growing up unafraid.



If this is something you really want to do, do it. :)



Oh and I just realized this last time I heard of a baby dying of SIDS... The parents always tell of going into baby's room and finding the baby not breathing. I just get the idea that if they're having to go in to get the baby, then the baby was not sleeping with them. Not scientific by any means, just my personal observation so far.



And co-sleeping definitely does not ruin sex life. Just get creative, men LOVE that. I've been pregnant 8 times... that should tell you something.lol.

Answer 12

Well I know a lot of us that answer this will get thumbs down from those that don't do it but yes my boys have co-slept with me and they did so from birth. With this baby I am going to use the co-sleeper beside the bed for 3-4 months but that is just because my oldest son is to all over the place when he comes in there trying to get in the bed with me in the middle of the night so I dont' want him hurting the new baby but when he was born it was just him so he did sleep on my chest for a long time. The thing about co-sleeping is you can't have them on a pillow and you can't bring the blankets near them and if you know you are the type to move around a lot in your sleep then co-sleeping isn't a good idea.

Answer 13

My baby has slept with me quite often...starting with the first night home! I just held her the first night and a few that first couple weeks because it was the easiest way to keep her happy and asleep...of course, my sleep suffered. I use to just prop myself up with pillows all around. Now, when she won't sleep without me or needs some extra love, I sleep in the guest bed (pushed up against the wall) and she sleeps in the boppy next to me. I really haven't found it to be dangerous at all...and regardless of what anyone tells you, you should do what feels right and keeps your baby happy.

You could try a co-sleeper!

Of course...eventually your baby can sleep alone in a crib in another room, but for the first 3 months or so it's not going to be habit forming...they need to know you're there for them in this big crazy world!

Answer 14

I let mine sleep with me since he was about three days old... pretty much after we got home from the hospital (would of done it at the hospital but they frowned on it). I did a lot of research on it and in most countries like Vietnam, China, and others where co-sleeping is the norm, cases of SIDS are very low to nonexistent. As long as your not participating in Alcohol or other "recreational" activities the risk is also very low in rolling over on the baby. Do you fall out of bed? How do you know where that edge is? This same reasoning goes for baby. You just know where your baby is. Even with this reasoning I wasn't completely sure so I know that I don't roll on my tummy when I change sides in the middle of the night. So where over the baby is just make sure that my belly is to him and so far so good. He enjoys it. He sleeps better. And most importantly I sleep good knowing that he is safe next to me. And believe me if i don't sleep i won't have a happy day tomorrow. Now he is six months old and he is slowly sleeping in his crib. He sleeps in his crib till about four am then in my bed till about seven. It works for me.

Answer 15

My son slept in his bassinet which i had beside the bed. Also they make a COSLEEPER that attaches to the side of your bed for easy access as well. When my son was anout 3 months old he slept in the middle of the bed. At 9 months old we were over that because he tok over most of our king size bed! (he would Sprawl out sideways!) So we fought for an entire month to make him sleep in his crib which is in our room. Now he is 14 months and falls asleep in his crib by himself. Also make sure you do not use big blankets in your bed if the baby sleeps with you. Its your baby and your choice and as long as you break them early enough it will be fine! Good Luck!!!

Answer 16

I started at about 2-3 weeks. I am breasfeeding and just got tired of getting up and down out of bed to feed and change our baby.



Co-sleeping is *wonderful* especially if you are breastfeeding. It is soooo much more convenient, baby sleeps better with us, and the bonding is great.



I didn't even know there was an increased danger of SIDS with co-sleeping and am not sure I believe it. I am aware of my babys movements and breathing patterns all through the night.

Answer 17

From the first night, and whether it increases or in fact decreases the risks of SIDS depends on who sponsored the study you read.



http://www.babyreference.com/Cosleeping&SIDSFactSheet.htm

The crib industry (JPMA) provided a large forum for the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) to announce this report. Unfortunately, no comparative statistics are provided in their announcements, and even the statistics they report are admittedly anecdotal and irregular. While the report supposedly left out the adult bed deaths that were diagnosed as SIDS (versus accidents), the determination between suffocation and SIDS is often a judgment call. Suffocation in a crib is more often reported as SIDS, while suffocation in an adult bed is reported as "death by adult bed."







CO-SLEEPING AND SIDS

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp#T071006





http://pregnancy.about.com/b/2005/10/14/sids-pacifiers-co-sleeping.htm

The American Academy of Pediatricians (AAP) released a new policy statement on SIDS prevention. Some of the highlights of the policy statement were to have your baby sleep in a crib in your room, not in your bed, and to use a pacifier during sleep. This has lead to a firestorm of criticism from the medical and lay communities.



Dr. William Sears has issued a statement that says the AAP is ignoring much of the research done on SIDS and co-sleeping. He says that the majority of deaths that the AAP are talking about are not SIDS at all. Dr. Sears contends that the overwhelming majority of SIDS deaths occur in cribs.



La Leche League International (LLLI) also had something to say. Their statement says that the AAP ignored the work of Dr. James McKenna, famous infant sleep researcher. They are worried that the use of pacifiers, which the AAP calls a parent's decision, will cause a reduction in the amount of time a baby nurses, as has been shown in previous studies.



http://www.parenting.com/article/Baby/Health/Ask-Dr.-Sears-Co-Sleeping-a-SIDS-Danger

A. Don't worry; continue co-sleeping. Because I have thoroughly researched this common concern and written two books on the subject, The Baby Sleep Book and SIDS: A Parent's Guide to Understanding and Preventing Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, I feel that I can confidently advise you on this subject. In the SIDS book, you'll find more than 250 scientific references to support the information provided on sleep and breathing patterns, and safe sleeping arrangements.



http://www.babycenter.ca/baby/sleep/reducecotdeathexpert/

No hard and fast evidence proves that sleeping with your baby reduces the risk of cot death or, to use the medical term, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Some research suggests that co-sleeping may reduce the risk of cot death for the following reasons:



1. Small babies cannot control their bodily temperature easily. Co-sleeping allows mother and baby to act as a thermostatic unit -- when the baby heats up, the mother cools down, bringing her baby's temperature down with hers.



2. Many small babies have breathing pauses (apneoa). Co-sleeping allows you to be aware of these pauses, even in your sleep. You move or make sounds that bring your baby to a brief arousal so that he can tune into your breathing and join in again at the same pace, without waking fully.



However, studies show that the risk of cot death increases when one or both co-sleeping parents is drunk, has taken drugs, is a smoker or is obese. One study published in The Lancet in 2004 also suggests that the risk of cot death increases if parents sleep with a baby who is younger than eight weeks old (regardless of whether they have been drinking, smoking or taking drugs).

Answer 18

i feel better when my baby sleeps with me, she is 3 months old now and has slept with from the start. When she gets older like 6 months i will start leaving her in her crib

Answer 19

Oh sweet Jesus as long as you get it out of your system now,my son is six and he still is in my bed I created a little monster.When he was17mon he was jumping out of the crib,so I took off the the front of the crib ,to make it like a day bed,because I told him he was a big boy now,forget it when I done that I guess I took his security away from being all closed in,He's never been in bed alone since.I asked him I said when are you going to go in your own bed?He said maybe when I'm 13,anyway where in the process now of fixing this,enjoy your baby ,but please beware

Answer 20

My babies all slept with me starting the night we came home from the hospital.



It does not increase the risk of SIDS....all the negative stories you have read about babies dying of SIDS while co-sleeping were because their mothers were intoxicated or on drugs, or obese.



In fact, co-sleeping decreases the risk of SIDS, because mom and baby's sleep cycles will merge together, and mom is more aware of baby's breathing patterns.



And, as for "rolling over on your babies".....that does just NOT happen. This has never happened to me, nor any of my friends who co-sleep. In fact, I have never known anyone to roll ontop of their baby. (again, if this happens, it's because the parent is probably intoxicated).



IT has been a wonderful experience for me and my boys. I was able to get more sleep, because I could just nurse them, and go back to sleep.



People told me I would create bad sleep habits, and a clingy, dependent child. Also, they warned that I would just make it worse for later when trying to get them into their own beds.....not true!



They will not be sleeping with you forever, I promise.



I am still co-sleeping with my youngest, but my two older boys, who are 9 and 4, sleep just fine in their own beds now.



***added****---and it does NOT ruin your love life.....I've got kids and pregnancies that didn't just appear out of nowhere, lol.

Answer 21

I never did because I was always scared of crushing her, plus my Aunt co-slept with her two girls and they are 6 and 8 now and both still coming in the middle of the night and trying to sleep with her. Bad idea I think but that is just me.

Also I am not sure how Uber Poppins knows that they will wean themselves when she has only had one baby and he/she is still very young from the sounds of her answers sometimes. So she hasn't hit that stage. But who knows she can be totally right. Its really up to you either way and how comfortable you are with it.

Answer 22

We started in the hospital he's 6 & still with us. I'm expecting another so we just need a bigger bed. Our matress was on the floor. Get rid of your bed frame & just put the matress on the floor. So you don't have to worry about falling off or rolling off. It's great I could never imagine any of my babies sleeping seperate & alone.

Answer 23

my daughter was about 2 months when i finally brought her in the bed with me. it makes breastfeeding so much easier.



i really hope someone answers your question that knows a little more about it then me. i think theirs studies and things that show co sleeping reduces sids. just make sure you fallow the rules of safe co sleeping.

Answer 24

i let my son co-sleep with me and the hubs. when did we start? since day one. and how old is he now? he is aobut to be 5 months. i wanted to co-sleep in the begining because i was breast feeding,and it was so much eaiser to just pop my boob out in the middle of the night. but now that he is older we are bottle feeding but still sleeps with us. what is the experience like? well im a VERY light sleeper so when he is starting to wake up ill get up and make him a bottle and have it all ready before we wakes up his bubby. (who sleeps in another room) i LOVE having him sleep with us my motto is "he wont stay a baby forever" and i think everybody can agree they really dont want a 10 year old sleeping with them all night.

Answer 25

i did it from day one .. i breastfeed and it just made it easier. we did fine he moved to his crib at 5/6 months. our sleeping arrangement was hubby,me,baby



I've co-slept with all my kids at various times for various reasons, when our first was born we lived in a 1 room (not 1 bedroom) apartment. second was mostly when he was fussy he was breastfeed but slept through the night at 3 weeks , third birth - 5/6 months breastfeeding and so the older two didn't kill him

Answer 26

"but I know about the dangers of SIDS so I do not let him"



!



A safe co-sleeping set-up is protective against SIDS.



Some good reading: http://kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/



Ignore these "you'll regret it" cold-hearted types. There are plenty of gentle, sensitive ways to wean babies to cribs later on if you decide you don't like it, and if you do, your child, if not forced, will eventually wean himself from your bed no problem.

Answer 27

Yes, all of my children have slept with me. Right from the beginning. Its the only way we ever got any sleep. They each slept with us until the next baby was born. The 4 yr old is kicked out pretty soon as baby #4 is on its way. It is a lovely way to bond and raise your children. Don' t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Listen to your instincts.

Answer 28

Co-sleeping is a widely misunderstood thing.



I did not want or intend to co-sleep with my baby (well I did want to for the same reasons as you, but didn't want to because I'd been told it increased chances of SIDS), however in the early weeks my baby simply would not go to sleep in his moses basket, and so I literally had no other choice. So I researched a lot into co-sleeping, and found that not all what you hear is necessarily fact.



What nobody tells you in the media is that, almost all of the horror stories you hear about parents rolling onto and suffocating their babies when sleeping together, the vast majority of cases was when the parent was under the influence of alcohol or medication, and most of the ones you hear about the parent was not actually sleeping in bed with the child but on the sofa. You mustn't fall asleep on a sofa with your baby, as tempting as it is sometimes, because if the baby rolls to the side they can very easily be trapped between your body and the back of the sofa and be suffocated. And of course it goes without saying, you must never sleep in a bed with your baby if you have been drinking (even one single alcoholic drink), or if you are on any medication which leads to drowsiness of any sort.



You will find, if you co-sleep with your baby (and are not under the influence of anything) - you are ALWAYS aware of his presence, and instinct stops you from rolling anywhere near him. At least this is what I found. Also I always found myself waking up at regular intervals to check he is okay, and I would always wake up in the exact same position I fell asleep in.



Co-sleeping, when done safely, can in fact bring benefit to your baby, as it has been proven to help regulate your baby's breathing patterns when they are in close proximity to your own. Also it allows you to be in a closer proximity to your baby so that in the event of them becoming troubled in their sleep, for example if they begin choking as they might in their own bed, you will be more likely to be roused by this. Co-sleeping babies also generally cry significantly less. And of course it allows your baby to feel physically and emotionally closer to you. Also if you breastfeed, your baby can suckle from you at his own will even when you are asleep. I remember waking up to find my baby suckling of his own free will, it is the most magical thing.



However there are strict guidelines to co-sleeping safely other than the ones I already mentioned, which must be followed. Don't be tempted to fall asleep cuddling your baby (which I admit I sometimes did) - it is best to have your baby sleeping on his back in the middle of the bed, and if he is sleeping to one side then make sure you have a guard on the other side of the bed to prevent him rolling off. Don't put your babies head on a pillow. It is IMPERATIVE that you make sure there are no gaps between the matress and the wall/headboard/footboard - even small ones - that the baby even has a chance of getting his head into. Also if your headboard has any cut-outs then don't co-sleep until you have a new headboard or have removed it as his head could become trapped. They also say not to put your baby under your own quilt but lie him on top and in a Grobag/Baby sack or swaddling and blankets of his own. I admit I did not follow this guideline and it never harmed my baby but these are the official guidelines - as thick duvets can cause the baby to overheat which CAN cause cot death, and also are easier for the baby to wriggle under. Make sure there are no curtain cords or any other things which could fall and strangle your baby. And make sure you never leave your baby in the bed on his own, even if he has never rolled yet. Also if your baby was born premature or at a low birth weight, it is unfortunately recommended that you don't co-sleep.



I loved co-sleeping and even though I did not plan to, I would probably do it again now with my next baby. A lot of people say you are making a rod for your own back and that your baby will become too clingy and attached to you. I can't speak for everybody but in my case - my baby is just over four months old now and he has just gone into his own bed, as I found he wanted his own space and would get frustrated in with me and kick about. It was a natural progression. But I found that it intensified our bond beautifully - I feel so close to my son and he knows I am his mummy and I am always the one who can comfort him, and especially as a single mum I find the unique bond we have is indescribable. I certainly don't feel I have built a rod for my own back - my baby is very close to me and I love this but at the same time he values his own freedom and independance.



If you feel co-sleeping is natural for you then go ahead, as long as you do it safely. Don't listen to all the negative comments because I can guarantee these people have not researched the topic properly. If you type co-sleeping into google it will bring up many websites with up to date, clear information. Good luck :-)

Answer 29

No matter how much you want to protect that little one, DON'T let that baby sleep with you. You'll regret it, when you're trying to catch some winks later on and you got a small person crawling into bed with you, then you find yourself fighting him/her to get BACK in their bed.



I've wanted to with all my kiddos but I had to be strong and put them back in their own bed/crib etc etc. If you worry about SIDS, place the baby next to you in their crib or bassinet or keep a monitor near by. Especially now, you won't be sleeping much anyways with all the worries that cross your mind to begin with and/or the crying going on for FOOD.



Lots of luck to you, stay STRONG! lol



Congratulations by the way. What a beautiful gift you were given

Answer 30

Yes we did from the day he was born in the hospital.

Answer 31

as a dad I say dont do it once they get in your bed they don't want to sleep in their own. I couldnt get my son in his own bed untill he was 6

Answer 32

move the crib into your room and be an ears away...

DONT sleep with your baby!

you or your man may roll over on her/him etc...

when she is old enought 2-3 you can cuddle all you want in bed!!

BE CAREFUL ; )

Answer 33

don't do it!! kiss your love life with your husband of boyfriend goodbye forever!

Answer 34

no i dont let him sleep with me, it is a bad habbit to start and a harder habbit to break.

Answer 35

It's a terrible idea, and a habit that will be hard to break later on. Let him sleep in his crib. You'll thank yourself when he gets older.