Question:
Breastfeeding or Formula?
blondie
2008-08-28 08:42:20 UTC
I am just starting my seventh month of pregnancy with baby # 1. I am thinking about breastfeeding vs. formula. I was never crazy about the idea of breastfeeding. I am in school for my master's degree and my schedule is kind of crazy. I can't see myself pumping in a bathroom stall between classes. Also, I am huge on top and feel like I look horrible - breastfeeding will exacerbate this problem. I know breastfeeding is good for the baby, but should I feel guilty if I decide to go with formula instead?
Fourteen answers:
Vada83
2008-08-28 09:53:19 UTC
No you shouldn't feel guilty. You do what you think is best for both YOU and the BABY. Don't let "Nipple Nazis" tell you your wrong because frankly your not.

I breastfed my son for 8 weeks and after those 8 weeks it was making my son and I miserable. My hormones were going nuts after birth he was going through a billion growth spurts, I was tired, and we were both stressed out with the breast feeding. My grandmother sadly passed away a couple of months after he was born so I was spending ALOT of time with my entire family and I wasn't about to whip of my boob in front of everyone, and I didn't seem to have enough stored milk to sustain him while we were there. So I stopped and he gets formula now and he is doing just as well as he did when he was breastfeeding. Besides he got all of my antibodies and I don't feel guilty what so ever.



Obber and Ambizzle: Stop being so self rightous. Oh wow you breastfeed get over yourselves.
Pippin
2008-08-28 15:55:08 UTC
Should you feel guilty? Of course not. Will you feel guilty? Don't know. Maybe. Maybe not.



A few things to help you make your decision:



1. Breastfeeding will not necessarily make your breasts any bigger. And I'm sure you DON'T look 'horrible' -- just different. Once the iniial engorgement passes (and your milk will come in/you will get engorged whether you nurse or not), your breast size will settle down -- though no-one can say for sure just how big or small you will be.



2. Your decision needn't be all or nothing. If you can only breastfeed for a few months (I'm assuming you'll have SOME time off from school), then you breastfeed for as long as you're able, and then wean. If you can't pump, you can probably nurse while you're at home and have the caregiver offer formula the rest of the time. Any breastmilk is better than no breastmilk.



Ideally we should all do the best we can. But only you know what the best YOU can do is -- and if you can't do the best thing available ... you make your decision and move on.
Linda T
2008-08-28 15:59:44 UTC
I'm also in school for my master's degree and my son is 3.5 months old, and I'm an F cup on top so I know where you're coming from.



I opted to take a semester off for maternity (my husband has baby leave too) and I'm breastfeeding him and he also gets the occasional bottle of formula. Had I not taken the semester off, I still would have breastfed, he would just have gotten more formula than he currently does, IE: breastfeed at home, pump if possible at school and when at school the baby would get a bottle of formula.



As far as pumping - if you purchase a dual pump, your pumping time will be reduced considerably from a single pump. The Medela dual pump is an excellent choice for dual pumping.



You shouldn't feel guilty and to hell with anyone that says you should. You need to do what's right for you, your baby and your family and it's none of their concern what you end up choosing. Don't let them pressure you one way or the other.
alicat
2008-08-28 15:58:11 UTC
You shouldn't feel guilty. I didn't plan to breastfeed at all. I did plan to pump for a few weeks while on maternity leave but still also wanted to supplement with formula. Formula isn't BAD for your baby. People will get on their soapbox and preach to you on how it is and you MUST breastfeed. Don't listen to them. We chose to breastfeed while in the hospital to give the baby all of the colostrum we possibly could and told our nurses we were planning to do both bf and formula and they brought us formula as well. While in the hospital, we made the decision to try and breastfeed for 2 weeks and see how it went. We supplemented once or twice a day when I was just too sore to nurse and we have since taken it day by day. Our daughter is thriving and I LOVE breastfeeding her. I always thought it was something I would never do but it was the right choice for me. It's been 4 weeks and I am sadly stopping at 6 to go back to work so I'll start weaning her off soon as I like you don't want to pump in a bathroom stall. It's really a personal decision. I would recommend you try before deciding against it completely but using formula instead is nothing to be ashamed of. Good Luck!



I just wanted to add, my breasts are no bigger now than they were while I was pregnant. Sometimes they swell a little if I go to long without nursing or letting the milk down in the shower or something, but otherwise they are the same size, sometimes a little smaller after she eats heartily so I wouldn't worry about them getting any worse. :)
James & Hannahs Mummy
2008-08-28 15:51:18 UTC
No you should not feel guilty for not breastfeeding at all. It's not for everyone. If you really want the best of both worlds you could try to combine breast feeding with formula feeding. Or you could breastfeed until you return to school, just a few days of breastfeeding is better then no days at all. I didn't want to breast feed either so I breast fed for the first couple of days so she got the colostrum and then switched to formula. You do what works best for you as a mother.
Malia
2008-08-28 16:20:42 UTC
No way should you feel guilty at all. You'll have all these breastfeeding advocates out there telling you something else but if you don't want to then there's nothing wrong with that. If you change your mind, that's fine too. Listen to yourself; do what's easiest for you.
2008-08-28 15:57:52 UTC
you you should not feel guilty ..but some of the people on here are gonna make you feel though... i formula fed my son since birth for my reasons, i never felt guilty nor does anything anyone say bother me.. you do what you feel is right.. as long as the baby is loved, fed and taken care of then it does not matter if there is a boob or a bottle in the childs mouth..



why is that breatfeeding moms (not all of you out there) feel the need to cram your beliefs down other peoples throat..and you do it so rudely....
louie
2008-08-28 15:47:59 UTC
well this is going to be a heated discussion lol

I wasnt a breastfeeder, it wasnt for me. I formula fed both my kids and now a days forumla is the next best thing to breastmilk.. Dont feel guilty on what you choose to do...and dont let the breastfeeders (aka anti formula feeders) make you feel bad about your choice. Bottles and formula is fine.
lillilou
2008-08-28 15:54:31 UTC
Decent colleges should have lactation rooms. First talk to your college's health dept. If they dont, go find a professor in Women's Studies, and see what they think about that.



Also, breastfeeding builds immunity. The more your baby is sick is going to create far greater havoc on your schedule than pumping.



Im also not crazy about puke. Last night I got puked on, and cleaned my son up before I cleaned myself up.
Spencer & Sophie's Mama
2008-08-28 15:47:37 UTC
You should do what is right for your family. I would try not to let the look of things determine anything though, your going to get milk in whether you decide to breastfeed or not...
Nina Lee
2008-08-28 15:53:42 UTC
Of course not. You should do what you feel is best for you and your baby. Congratulations!
I LOVE MY BOYS
2008-08-28 15:57:17 UTC
do what you feel is best for you and your child i bottle feed both of my kids and they are perfectly healthy and are both advanced for their ages don't let others tell you that you are wrong for not wanting to breast feed its not their business.
Olivia's Mama
2008-08-28 15:51:54 UTC
heres a few reason why you should breastfeed.



http://www.promom.org/101/



sure, most kids do 'just fine' on formula. but 'just fine' isnt good enough for my child.





and if you are feeling guilty over ANYTHING its a good indication that its not a good choice.
2008-08-28 15:48:26 UTC
"should I feel guilty if I decide to go with formula instead?"



Yes.



"In virtually all of the reported cases each year in which a breast-fed baby becomes seriously ill as a result of her mother's feeding choice, the problem is actually one of not breast-feeding -- meaning that, as in the Walrond and Cheeks cases, some uninformed and unsupported nursing mothers are not aware that they aren't effectively transferring milk from their breasts to their babies. In sharp contrast, however, routine formula feeding -- even when done properly by parents -- is itself a contributor to overall rates of infant morbidity and mortality in the United States. This is because -- despite what manufacturers' advertising would have parents believe -- today's commercial infant formulas, while a marked improvement over the homemade concoctions of years past, still represent a flawed and highly inferior imitation of our own, species-specific milk.



According to the American Academy of Pediatrics' most recent member survey, a majority of baby doctors see slightly more formula-fed babies than breast-fed babies admitted to the hospital for instances of malnutrition and failure to thrive. But this represents only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the differences in rates of morbidity and mortality between formula-fed and breast-fed infants in this country. When the overall health of formula-fed infants in the U.S. is compared to that of breast-fed infants -- even after controlling for variables such as parents' socioeconomic backgrounds -- it becomes clear that formula-fed babies are sicker, sick more often, and are more likely to die in infancy or childhood. However, parents often lack access to this information, and in fact, are often the recipients of misinformation, thus denied the ability to make truly informed choices regarding how they will feed their babies. Although the phrase "breast-feeding is best" is tossed around so liberally as to have been rendered almost meaningless, many Americans are under the mistaken impression that today's commercial infant formulas are nearly identical to human milk. And because of this, parents who routinely approach other important infant health and safety issues in a thoughtful, deliberate way are largely unaware that in epidemiological terms, the decision to formula-feed when breast-feeding is an option places their child at demonstrably higher risk for a wide variety of ailments.



"Parents are not adequately informed regarding the real risks of artificial milks [infant formula]," says Nancy Wight, MD, FAAP, IBCLC, and a neonatologist at Children's Hospital in San Diego."



http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/1999/07/19/formula/



"One of the most powerful arguments many health professionals, government agencies and formula company manufacturers make for not promoting and supporting breastfeeding is that we should "not make the mother feel guilty for not breastfeeding". Even some strong breastfeeding advocates are disarmed by this "not making mothers feel guilty" ploy.



It is, in fact, nothing more than a ploy. It is an argument that deflects attention from the lack of knowledge and understanding of too many health professionals about breastfeeding. This allows them not to feel guilty for their ignorance of how to help women overcome difficulties with breastfeeding, which could have been overcome and usually could have been prevented in the first place if mothers were not so undermined in their attempts to breastfeed. This argument also seems to allow formula companies and health professionals to pass out formula company literature and free samples of formula to pregnant women and new mothers without pangs of guilt, despite the fact that it has been well demonstrated that this literature and the free samples decrease the rate and duration of breastfeeding.



Let's look at real life. If a pregnant woman went to her physician and admitted she smoked a pack of cigarettes, is there not a strong chance that she would leave the office feeling guilty for endangering her developing baby? If she admitted to drinking a couple of beers every so often, is there not a strong chance that she would leave the office feeling guilty? If a mother admitted to sleeping in the same bed with her baby, would most physicians not make her feel guilty for this even though it is, in fact, the best thing for her and the baby? If she went to the office with her one week old baby and told the physician that she was feeding her baby homogenized milk, what would be the reaction of her physician? Most would practically collapse and have a fit. And they would have no problem at all making that mother feel guilty for feeding her baby cow's milk, and then pressuring her to feed the baby formula. (Not pressuring her to breastfeed, it should be noted, because "you wouldn't want to make a woman feel guilty for not breastfeeding".)



Why such indulgence for formula? The reason of course, is that the formula companies have succeeded so brilliantly with their advertising to convince most of the world that formula feeding is just about as good as breastfeeding, and therefore there is no need to make such a big deal about women not breastfeeding. As a vice-president of Nestle here in Toronto was quoted as saying "Obviously, advertising works". It is also a balm for the consciences of many health professionals who, themselves, did not breastfeed, or their wives did not breastfeed. "I will not make women feel guilty for not breastfeeding, because I don't want to feel guilty for my child not being breastfed".



Let's look at this a little more closely. Formula is certainly theoretically more appropriate for babies than cow's milk. But, in fact, there are no clinical studies that show that there is any difference between babies fed cow's milk and those fed formula. Not one. Breastmilk, and breastfeeding, which is not the same as breastmilk feeding, has many many more theoretical advantages over formula than formula has over cow's milk (or other animal milk). And we are just learning about many of these advantages. Almost every day there are more studies telling us about these theoretical advantages. But there is also a wealth of clinical data showing that, even in affluent societies, breastfed babies, and their mothers, incidentally, are much better off than formula fed babies. They have fewer ear infections, fewer gut infections, a lesser chance of developing juvenile diabetes and many other illnesses. The mother has a lesser chance of developing breast and ovarian cancer, and is probably protected against osteoporosis. And these are just a few examples."



http://www.kellymom.com/newman/bf_and_guilt_01-00.html



"Is Formula Almost The Same As Breastmilk?



No, and not by a long shot. Just because every few years the formula manufacturers add something to their formulas that we knew was in breastmilk for years but the manufacturers denied were of any importance, doesn’t mean that the “new and improved” formula is just like breastmilk. In some cases, the formula is improved, but remember, they were telling us that the formula before the “new and improved” version was also “almost like breastmilk”. This is true, for example, of the long chained polyunsaturated fatty acids (DHA and AA) that are supposed to make your baby smarter (one company even calls their formula A+, but it deserves a C- at best). We’ve known how important these fats are for many years, but for many years (before they were added to formula, of course), the manufacturers, echoed by many health professionals, just kept saying that it didn’t matter, and that there was no proof that these fats were of any importance at all (this is still in the Canadian Paediatric Society’s 1995 statement on the nutrient needs of premature babies). This cycle of “our milk is just like breastmilk” followed by “we have now added x to our milk so that it is even more like breastmilk” has been going on since the 19th century.



The truth of the matter is this:



Just adding something to formula, even if it is in the same amounts as in breastmilk, does not mean that the baby will get the amount or the best sort he needs of this particular something. The example of iron helps us understand this. Breastmilk contains enough iron (with the stores the baby has during pregnancy), to keep the baby iron sufficient for at least 6 months. To maintain iron sufficiency in formula fed babies, formula needs to contain at least 6 times more iron than breastmilk, just because iron does not get absorbed from the baby’s gut as well from formula as it does from breastmilk.

There are still hundreds of components of breastmilk that are still not added to formulas.

Breastmilk varies in what it contains, from morning to evening, from day to day, from beginning of the feeding to the end, from day 1 to day 4 to day 10 to day 100, so there is no way we can know what breastmilk really contains. This means that there is no way to duplicate breastmilk because there is no such thing as a standard breastmilk. In fact, since every woman produces somewhat different breastmilk, the notion of a standard breastmilk becomes an absurdity. Breastmilk is a living, dynamic fluid. Formula is a chemical soup."



http://drjacknewman.com/help/Toxins%20and%20Infant%20Feeding.asp


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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