a stranger flirted with me when I was having coffee with my girlfriend and our babies...?

Question

...and I engaged in some flirtatious banter with him right back. The sum of the exchange was, Him: "you just had a baby? That's just not fair" (looking appreciatively at my figure) and I said, "You're not so bad yourself" (or something like this).

My friend tore into me the minute he was gone. "How could you encourage that guy? You're a married lady with a baby!" I had no intentions whatsoever toward this man, and since clearly he noticed I was a parent (and probably noticed the wedding ring too) he could not possibly have had any serious intentions either. I'd worked so hard to lose my extra weight from my pregnancy, it was SO great to finally be noticed again by somebody who isn't obliged to tell me I look great "no matter what".

I'm completely devoted to my husband and family and I don't think a little light flirtation in a coffeehouse can possibly violate somebody's marriage vows. Personally I think casual flirting has a completely legitimate place in polite society and makes everyone feel cheerful and good about themselves. No names or phone numbers were exchanged for heaven's sake. Neither of us meant anything by it except to inject a little fun into the others day. My friend has tried her hardest to make me feel like a tramp about speaking to this man, but sometimes I will even flirt with saucy old people to make THEM feel good ("If you were a little younger, or I a little older, I might get into some trouble!...")

To me this is totally normal. My husband and I enjoy a happy marriage. Do you think flirting is rude and puts people in a bad position, or do you think it's OK so long as nothing comes of it? Can married people still flirt without calling their morality into question? Thanks!

Answer 1

Relax. She was jealous that he flirted with you. The guy was not hitting on you, he could see that you have a baby and were out with your girlfriend and her kid. He probably likes to hand out the compliments because it makes him feel good about himself and he chose you because you were obviously a "safe" target, i.e., you were not likely to take him seriously.



Just forget about it.

Answer 2

Why do you care what someone else thinks of you? You know what your intentions were. And if she is your true friend she would too. She would respect you enough to think the best of you and not the worst.



Personally I think a little flirting is completely fine. Married or not people still do notice each other. You still have eyes. Life is tough and compliments and smiles are rather rare. So enjoy them. And don't get upset that your friend that is either too jealous or too prude to understand.

Answer 3

for me It is okay but you don't want to set a bad example for your children later on in life. sometimes a simple thank you works just fine and you would be surprised at what people notice and what they miss like a wedding ring on the finger. what someone might think of as harmless can turn bad in a jiffy.

Answer 4

You should have screamed at your stoopid friend to stfu and then bashed her in the teeth to make sure she gets the point.



I'd probably give her a good hard kick in the shins too

Answer 5

Personally, I would never flirt with another man, and I would be LIVID if I found out my husband was flirting with other women. I just think it's disrespectful. But to each their own.

Answer 6

If you ask me, you can flirt as long as it is clear for both that nothing will come out of it.





If it is not clear enough, both may end up feeling up pretty bad.

Answer 7

We live in a different society then how it was back when marriage actually meant something, go ahead and flirt back[;

Answer 8

for me, i wouldn't flirt with another man. i'm happily engaged to my hubby and he is the only one that needs to be flirted with.

Answer 9

OMG you're such a hussy!



Wanna go out?

Answer 10

Your friend is JEALOUS. That's why she is putting you down.