Im currently weaning my 13 mo and i am very engorged and very emotional. can anyone please give advice?

Question

Hello i am needing some advice or info please please please but i dont want the negative or disrespectful comments .. i have recently started weaning and my daughter (who is now 13 months) is actually doing ok with this now she use to eat about every 4 hours threw the day and 2 1/2 to 3 hours threw the night. Now were down to 1 (morning) sometimes 2 (at night) but my issue is my breast or becoming very engorged and its very painful. (What can i do for this?) I cant pump because she sees them and wants me then and she is with me all day while my husband works. I have tyred a cool compress but its not comfortable... I have thought about just letting her eat. To take some of the engorgement down but my husband isnt to found about that.. he keeps saying to me shes 1 and need to be weaned. Also i was wondering if any other mommas who have weaned if it was very emotional to them? Since we have started this i am a big baby! At nights when she doesn't eat from me it seems to be the worst for me.. which irritates my husband because "shes 1" (which i want to add she still wakes up every 3 hours like she did to eat but now i can just hold her and she will go back to sleep). Im not usually too emotional and if i am i can hide it.But with this i feel like a weeping baby.lol any positive advice would be much appreciated please and thank you.

Answer 1

First off, yes it is emotional. It's the best thing you can give to your babies. I just recently weaned my twins and I felt a lot of guilt but now that I'm done, I feel like I have more time for both of them. If you aren't ready to wean, don't. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her still breastfeeding. And you should never feel like you need to hide you emotions. It's a huge bonding experience for mom and baby.

To wean, you need to release when you are engorged. Stick to her schedule, every 3 hours, let her breast feed for a little bit, just enough to stop the pain but don't empty the breast. Then give the rest by bottle. Then, after a few days, try to do every other feed at the breast. Again, just enough to help the pain but don't empty the breast. Continue spacing it out until you feel your done. It only took me about 2 1/2 weeks.

Answer 2

Although your husband seems to think that babies need to be forced to wean at a year old, that is actually not normal human behavior. Normal human behavior is to continue to breastfeed well past a year, weaning gradually as mother and baby are ready. It has nothing to do with the father. Weaning suddenly, as you have done, is traumatic for both mother and baby and, as you have found, can lead to painful engorgement (and a possible breast infection) for the mother.



My advice, especially because that is what you are inclined to do, is to "let the baby eat" and slow down just a little bit. This period of breastfeeding is such a very short time out of your life, surely a bit longer will not make a big difference.

Answer 3

I had a bit of a different experience because I had a micro preemie and I pumped for her. I did so while she was in the hospital until my breast milk was not nutritional enough for her. It was awful, I felt like less of a mother because the best thing for my baby was not enough to sustain her life. I quit pumping because I had so much stored up and would never be able to use it. I was hurting so bad I would get up in the middle of the night and pump anyway to get some relief. My emotional roller coaster shortly took its toll and my breast milk dried up on its own. Hopefully just sticking to your guns and a little time will get you through it. Even if you have to pump do it during a nap or at night when she cannot see you.

Answer 4

I'm sorry, I know you don't want negative comments but your husband is a big idiot. Yes,she is 1, but the WHO recommends breast feeding for a MINIMUM of 2 years! It sounds like neither you nor your daughter is ready to wean, and there is nothing wrong with that. The longer you nurse the more health benefits she will get from your milk, as your milk changes to meet the needs of a growing baby. You will have a much easier time if you wait until you are both ready to wean, and your stupid husband needs to educate himself on the benefits of full term nursing. If you let your daughter self wean it will be easier for her, you, and your breasts.

Answer 5

If you're getting engorged, slow down the weaning process. I would keep two nursing sessions for a while longer. That was how I ended with all my kids -- morning and night, and I felt like I could continue that indefinitely because it was so easy.



To be honest, there's no reason that you *have* to wean just because she's one. The WHO recommends nursing until age 2 and beyond, and there are lots of great reasons to nurse a toddler. I found it to be especially helpful when they get colds or stomach bugs because you never have to worry about dehydration as long as they're nursing. Plus, you know they're getting a bit of added nutrition if their eating is a bit erratic.



My oldest weaned fully at 14 months (when I was 6 months pregnant with baby #2). My middle child was still nursing frequently until her 2nd birthday, and she was fully weaned at 2 1/2 (when I was 6 months pregnant with baby #3). My youngest was down to just one nursing session a day by his 3rd birthday, but he kept that one until he was 4 1/2. I truly never expected to be nursing a 4-year-old, but we took things one day at a time, and there we were. Yes, there were days that I was ready to be done, but in general, it was a great way to end the day and an easy way to settle him for bed. I think my husband was also weirded out by me nursing a toddler at first (as were some of our friends/family), but as my kids grew and they turned out to be okay, everyone realized that it was fine and normal.



If it helps, tell your husband that Michael Jordan was breastfed until he was 3. :-)



Obviously, if you're ready to wean, go ahead and do so. I just wanted to offer some support in case you decide you (and your daughter) aren't quite done.



More info on weaning...

http://kellymom.com/category/ages/weaning/



And info on nursing toddlers...

http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/

http://kellymom.com/ages/after12mo/ebf-myths/

Answer 6

Well I can only say the WHO recommends two years and the world average is 4.2 for weaning? What's the rush? Studies show the longer you nurse the lower your bmi will be in 20 years and the healthier up baby will be. She'll also be at way less risk for obesity.

Answer 7

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